Recognising that no one but me is responsible for my happiness and learning how to re-parent myself in a nurturing way has changed my life in amazing ways.  Not only am I happy now, I also draw people to me now who respect me as I do.  I've come to see how all of those people in my past that did not respect me were mirrors of my attitudes toward myself and some of them were quite abusive, as I was abusing myself.  I forgive myself and them for that now as I've learned what I needed to from it and now choose to let it all go.

Now that I've healed enough to flow through most of my feelings without remaining stuck in them, I am seeing more and more reflections emerging from my past.  Once this would have frightened me but not now, I am able now to engage my inner parent to navigate this stage and not place the unreasonable pressure onto my inner adult or child selves to do it.  I've seen and heard many people malign the inner child as the reason why their life is awful or why the people around them are so hard to cope with.  I've heard others extolling the virtues of the inner adult as being the only real help for a dominant inner child.  What Transactional Analysis (TA) tells me though is that without an inner parent, there is not going to be healthy functioning.  The child is the 'feelings' I have, the adult is just a 'computer processor', and these two cannot understand each other at all.  It is the inner parent who can mediate and interpret, to nurture the child and provide information the adult needs on an internal level to bring some balance to the whole.  

TA is just a way to understand our own ego which is in fact, just our own energy.  As everything in existence is now known to be energy, having an understanding of our own energy can have a real and positive impact on our lives.  I know it has on mine.  We don't need to have had wonderful experiences to create wonderful experiences now, we simply need to want to do it.  In my old pessimist mindset, I was still able to create wonderful experiences because I was unconsciously drawn to create them.  It is the inner child that drove that while my inner adult tried desperately to stop it through reasoning that pessimists can't be optimistic.  My inner adult did not have love to inform it because my inner parent was hyper-critical and rescuing.  The real change came in learning and developing a nurturing inner parent.  Now, my inner child can feel the energy within me, the adult can process the information and provide solutions and, the inner nurturing parent can comfort the child, translate for the adult and provide the balance of love that both the adult and child need to coexist harmoniously so I can BE happy and at peace within myself.

The more that I allow my feelings to rise up within me, the more aware I become that life is a pattern on loop for me.  The experiences I am perceiving are not new, I've perceived these before.  I was unable to notice them once, believing each new experience was some horrible cosmic joke at my expense and then despairing of anything good ever really materializing in my life.  Before the age of 30, I came to see that I was pessimistic although I had no idea how to change it then and now I accept that I wasn't quite ready.  Over time I have created a much more positive reality and it was simple but it was not easy.  Re-parenting the child within has not only made it easier and safer to feel and express my feelings, it has also brought joy and happiness to my life in everyday, small ways and large.  The other incredible bonus is that, now my inner adult is not trying to parent my child self, it can do what it was designed to and so my mind is operating at a more advanced and functional level too.  I can now process information much more effectively than ever before and no longer feel stupid or dumb.

With time, patience, practice, information and support, we can all learn to bring our own energy, and therefore our own lives, into balance.  It is the child within who will urge us forward, the adult can gather the information we need to proceed safely and the parent who can keep us safe. Without all three functioning, the ride can be bumpy.  Please don't forget that their are 3 states in TA, not 2.  I've seen some awful transactions between people who have misunderstood the importance of all 3 and they have been very hurt or have hurt others very badly.  For TA is one way to understand the pains and the joys of life and actually embrace the power to change them if we want to.

At+Onement 

Http://jhundip.blogspot.com/

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