27 Jul 2013

Anger is born from fear

Anger is an incredible emotion, it creates change, it starts movements, it feels powerful and it gets us moving BUT there is ALWAYS fear underneath anger....fear of failing, fear of pain, fear of being judged, fear of being hurt, fear of nothing changing, fear of everything changing, fear of loneliness, fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of fear, ALWAYS fear. Feel the anger and release the e-motion-go under it to the fear and life is so much less painful because anger is destructive and comes from the mind and not the heart -JP

17 Jul 2013

Letter to my 44 Year old self

Letter to my 44 Year old self.

Dear June
I am in awe of you. Looking back on all you have overcome and knowing your hopes and dreams for the future, I am inspired. You have such an  incredible amount of courage, strength, determination, compassion and love and you see greatness in everyone you meet. I know you struggle and doubt yourself but even when you are ready to fall down or give up, you draw on your innate abilities and rise again even more determined than before. Your faith and hope is boundless and I am so proud of who you are. I care very deeply for you and I love seeing how much you now care for yourself. You have worked so incredibly hard for so long and given up so much, so many times and yet you still go on giving. It's wonderful to see you now giving to others instead of giving up. I wonder if you truly understand just how phenomenal you are? I see you accept compliments with grace and humility and I know you still fear ego lest you become vain and bitter, did you know that is another of your strengths? You strive valiantly to own each experience you have and to find a way to get off the blame-go-round. That supernova you are cannot be hidden or doused and you already know how much of your energy it takes to try that so look up dear one, shine your light and let go of your struggle because you are much, much more than your experiences. You are a divine creation who is living her divinity exactly as you were created in perfection to be. Let go, laugh loud and love on June, you're my inspiration and I love you. June xx

Truth

I once read a book which, astonishingly, I cannot yet remember the title or author of. I'm astonished by this because I usually have no problems with details like that, anyway....

In this book, the author wrote about his early days as a psyche, which went something like: he met a young woman who was completely unresponsive during his first residency. She had been in the ward for many months and interacted with no one. She was completely closed off and did not even acknowledge the presence if others. The young psyche decided to not read her file before meeting her and gaining insight first hand so as not to create an internal bias. The young psyche entered the session, made an introduction, informed her of her rights and how long the session would last and waited. The young woman did not respond, did not even look up. At the end of the session, the psyche took his leave. At the next session, the psyche again introduced himself, waited a few minutes and, when the woman again did not respond, opened up some work he'd brought with him and turned his attention to that, glancing up now and then to observe but not pushing anything. This went on exactly the same way for many sessions. One day, he entered, took out his work and, looking up, saw the young woman was watching him. He looked back at her and calmly waited. "God talks to me", she whispered anxiously. Without hesitating, the young psyche replied, "What does He say?" To which the young woman began to chatter incessantly about all manner of things that had been happening for her since long before. She explained how, God had started speaking to her and when she told her family, they were concerned and eventually brought her in to have her mental health assessed. Upon hearing what she had to share, she was assessed as needing hospitalisation and medication. All concerned had judged her delusional and refused to hear so, she stopped talking to them as she did not want to be deemed insane. Eventually she concluded it was much safer to close down and become mute altogether. Now, someone was finally hearing her without judgment and expressing interest! The next sessions were similar, with the girl talking of all the things God had told her and, after a while, the young woman was released and went home with a completely clean bill of health.

What struck me when I read about this was the attitude of the psyche and the fear of the young woman - the futility of her telling her truth. The psyche had the attitude that what we each perceive is real, IS real for ourself. He believed that this young woman truly believed she was hearing the voice of God and he did not believe he had any right to challenge or discourage her. He reasoned that as every person sees things from their own eyes, their own perspective, there is literally no way of knowing if we all see the same reality until we share it, or even then. That if I was to say the sky is green with pink dots and I really saw that, who was he to argue, just because he saw a blue sky with white clouds? He further explained that I see what I see and he sees what he sees and we both see what is real - for ourself. Neither one of us is 'wrong' or 'right', we simply believe what we each see as true.

This story had a huge impact on me and still does. I may not see what others see but I know they CAN see what they believe and it is very real for them. Sometimes others believe things I feel angry or sad or scared about. Sometimes I want to argue or scoff but I don't because that would be me judging them and I have no way of knowing if my reality is real for anyone but me. How can I possibly ask someone to believe something that is not real for them, while demanding that they believe what is real for me?

I believe we each have a right to believe what we believe, eg, I believe in a loving God that is all powerful and kind. I believe that Gods love is the only real power on this earth and that ALL things lead TO God. I know that to be MY truth and I know that many thousands of people would not share my belief and THAT'S OKAY by me because I believe what I believe and I have no desire to make anyone see what I see. I believe that each person is experiencing their own reality which has its own challenges, joys, fears and purpose, individual to that persons soul. I do not believe it is fair, wise or loving to try to make others see that what I believe is real. In fact, if I am doing that, I am giving away my power and taking away from theirs.

I say, I will have my truth and others can have theirs. I want to support others in releasing any energy or pain associated with their belief and to experience joy and I will not take on the reality of others or ask them to believe what I believe. I have a right to my beliefs and I believe I have a responsibility to grant others the same grace.

xxjxx