If he were still alive, my Granddad would have been 93 years old today. He left this world on 11.11.2001 at 11.19am and sometimes it feels unbelievable to think that 15 years have passed since then. Had he still been alive today, I would be going to see him, taking him a gorgeous card with my heart poured out inside, sharing pots of tea with him and reminiscing about Nanna, who left 3 years before him. We would have shed a few tears, had a bit of a laugh and probably a few precious moments of companionable silence because that's what every visit was like in the last three years I had him.
Today, as I do every day, I thank God for the blessing of having my Granddad in my life. Physically he was in my life for 32 years and never too far away for a visit because I made sure I was close enough for that. Every single time we saw each other he would wrap me in a huge bear hug and crush the wind right out of my lungs. Although I complained occasionally, I knew in my heart those hugs were a token of unconditional love. My grandparents were the first people to show me what unconditional love was. They were not saints and not perfect and they made many mistakes in their lives as we all do, but they loved intentionally and me they loved unconditionally. I never once felt afraid that my grandparents would stop loving me, not once. I've never experienced that certainty with anyone else in the world and it has had a profound impact on my own capacity to love. If I can love myself as unconditionally as they loved me, I will be content. They set me a very strong, implicit example and I'm so grateful to have had that to follow.
When they passed on, I shattered into a million pieces and it was a promise I made to my Granddad that kept me alive at all. I promised him on his deathbed that I would be okay no matter what it took. He often reminds me of that promise when I sit with his energy and thank him again. Although sometimes I'd love to feel his arms around me, that sensation has been replaced by an adoring husband with a very similar energy who gives amazing hugs and loves me unconditionally. I know my grandparents are always with me and are very proud of me no matter what I do or how I behave and I feel so blessed to have that. I love them unconditionally too and no matter what dimension they are now in, my love stretches out across eternity just as theirs does to wrap them in my own arms.
Happy birthday Granddad. I love you and I'll have a pot of tea with you today as is our tradition. Bless you always and say hi to Nanna for me. ππππππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππππ
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