I feel blessed that I attended a small workshop about ten years ago on 'Surviving Christmas'.  My mother was visiting at the time and I took her with me.  I struggled to understand her then and it was tricky for us both but also very profound and we've both had better Christmases since then although quite separately.  What we learned was to make Christmas our own, to do what makes us each feel good on the day and stop worrying so much about what we thought was expected of us by others.  I spent the next five years having Inner Child Christmases with my kids whom I was separated from.  During the days before, I would ask each person present what was the one good dish they thought they just had to have on the table to make it feel like Christmas Day and then I prepared only those foods.  That meant less mess, less waste, less dishes and less stress.  It also meant we all really enjoyed our meal.  The day began with gift giving, then time for exploring those gifts.  We would then have lunch together followed by children's games.  My teenaged children had as much fun as I did with this as they had input into which games we played too.  It was never meant to be about any one person controlling the day.  Our Inner Children chose the games we played with the boundaries of: nothing abusive, nothing too physically challenging and nothing adult.  One of our faves was each person writing one sentence on a piece of paper and passing it to the next person to add a new sentence to the page without reading what was already written.  Once everyone had written a sentence on each page, the 'story' was read out to the whole group.  We had a lot of laughs with that.  We also had a "rule" for the day: 'no one is to be yelled at for any reason, no matter what'.  Having had memories of hostility from past Christmases, we all agreed to change our future.  We would also watch a Christmas movie together in the evening.  The past ten Christmases have been heavenly for me.  My husband and I have found our groove now.  My kids have kids of their own and live almost a thousand kilometres away so we have Christmas near them every second year. We were visiting and going out to restaurants for our meal a few years until last year my daughters' in-laws invited us to lunch.  We both were unsure but figured it would be a first for us to have Christmas lunch with strangers so decided to go ahead and enjoyed it immensely.  I draw the line though at having meals with my children's father in honour of joy.  The energy is quite toxic for me so I choose not to sit in that for all our sakes.  On the alternate years, my now husband chooses his ideal way to spend the day as mine is with my kids so we both have a 'turn'.  He's usually happy to spend a day alone with me and we just relax and totally enjoy the energy of devotion that we have for each other.  We have our favourite foods and activities and just shut the world out for a day.  It's usually blissful and regenerative, whatever we do because we choose it to be.  It took me a long time to learn that my thoughts affect my Christmas.

If everything is energy and our thoughts are too, what energy are we creating in the world with our thoughts and, are we ready to accept responsibility for it?  I learned that my thoughts belong only to me and can't affect anyone or anything unless I act upon those thoughts in some way.  It felt very comforting to believe that and I went on to teach the same philosophy myself but...I don't believe that anymore.  Science has proven that our thoughts have as much impact on the world as anything else does and in fact, it is our thoughts that create our reality.  Today I'm thinking about Christmas and the struggle that many people are sharing they have; I'm thinking about how many memes I've seen online in protest of saying 'happy holidays' in lieu of  'Merry Christmas'; I'm thinking of how many people I've heard complaining about family, gifts they've received, commercialism, religion, the costs involved, shopping, overindulging, weight gain, food dislikes etc, etc, etc.  it's almost as if the more I love Christmas, the more I notice how many people complain about it.  While looking at what I'm seeing of myself in those reactions, what those reflections are within me, I'm seeing a lack of wanting to be responsible for the love that I can experience by choice.  I've got one day of the year down pat.  On Christmas Day I thoroughly enjoy myself in every moment because I choose to.  My boundaries are clear, firm but flexible too, communicated and healthy.  What about every other day of the year?  From this year forward I can use this day as a template for all the others.  This is my choice.  I love remembering Christmas with my grandparents.  Their joy was to be surrounded by their loved ones and they did all they could to make it memorable.  I haven't seen their faces for over 15 years since they died and so I recall them at Christmas with gratitude and devotion in my heart, not grief and sadness - it's my choice.  

What about the future of Christmas in the world?  If you knew this was the last Christmas you could have, how would you want to spend it?  Who would you want to spend it with?  What would you want to be doing?  If we put the energy out there of how annoyed we get at Christmas with family; of how much we hate this or that at Christmas, will we attract more if that?  With all the complaining about that time of year, it's actually possible that we could kill Christmas.  We will certainly kill the Christmas spirit if we spend time moaning, complaining and whining about a day we have complete responsibility for enjoying.

If you struggle at Christmas, I invite you to gently explore why and then explore what you might want to do about it.  I used to feel abused, degraded and humiliated at Christmas and I thought I had no power to change it because I didn't know how.  Then I learned, and that learning cost me a lot.  Make this Christmas your best Christmas ever because you choose it to be, I know I will.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

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