My Inner Child

In the ten years that I was supporting others in creating a bond with their Inner Child, I was learning how to create a bond with my own Inner Child too.  The issue that I saw repeating the most across all age groups, cultures, genders and levels of consciousness was the adult needing to control everything for the Inner Child.  I almost developed a mantra encouraging people to ask their Inner Child and listen for the answer and not to just assume they know what's best for their Inner Child.  Those people I was encouraging were helping me just as much by reflecting my own arrogance towards my Inner Child.  I unconsciously thought a child would not know as much as me so I did not even consult my Inner Child for a long time, I just tried to figure it out and do what I considered was best.  I came to learn, possibly the hard way, that disaster is the only outcome of behaviour like that.  I came to learn that it was the fastest way to create problems.  I came to learn that the Inner Child actually knows the answers to everything I need because it is the link to my Soul, my Higher Self.  I learned to ask the Inner Child first; to be quiet, patient, and listen for an answer; to nurture, encourage and congratulate the Inner Child over every achievement large or small.  I learned how to reparent myself in a healthy way.  I learned that because each of us is different, our Inner Child is different and we each have our own way of connecting with that.  I learned that my expectations of myself had always been too high.  I then learned how to allow the space and the resources for my Inner Child to be a Child who has me as a loving, nurturing parent.  I learned that I needed to learn how and the book 'Growing Up Again' by Jean Ilsley Clark and Connie Dawson is like a handbook on how to raise and relate to my Inner Child.

When I was growing up I did not experience childhood as a free-spirited child but rather as a serious, ungrounded, adult in a small persons body.  I felt a bit like Benjamin Button from the movie.   As I learned to nurture this Child inside, I found a miracle happening - I began to love and accept myself.  I found that one way I could nurture myself was to live as a child now in planned segments, such as allowing myself to play on swings like a six year old or, giving myself permission to dance to old songs once a week; to read myself a children's story occasionally and one time, for about a month, I fed myself baby food for lunch one day a week.  My adult me was initially horrified and resistant to all of these things but my commitment to loving my Inner Child pulled me through.  I applied myself and enlisted help to build a strong, loving relationship with my Inner Child and I came to believe over time that I had a whole family of Inner Children and more.  As I've written other posts on that already, I won't go into it again today.

Each day it grew easier until last year it became obvious to me that the only thing I felt like I'd ever missed out on as a child now was being born happy so I accepted the task of re-birthing myself.  The understanding I got from my Inner Family was that I was birthing my Soul into being and it would not be strictly easy but that I was ready.  In the months since then, my life has opened up into a miracle and although much of what I knew and loved before  has gone, it has made room for exciting new beginnings too.  Remembering to ask the Child what will help me in any and every situation and listening to the answer is vital to happiness from what I've seen and experienced.  There is nothing I cannot find out if I sit quietly and ask my Inner Child.  Doing this has healed some very serious health issues for me and many others.  My Inner Child has brought joy into my life which I had not known how to do myself.  I know that I will never again shut my Inner Child down nor shut her out.  Life is too fabulous now that I have this enriching and rewarding relationship which makes my life complete and miraculous.

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