Learning and Life

I've always loved learning but it's really only recently that I fully embraced the notion of every moment of my life and every single experience being an opportunity to learn.  It's as if I've known it all along but not quite fully accepted it.  Even now my ego wants to stay nestled in the comfort of unconscious knowledge, the sleepy dream state of unawareness and my conscious focus is to wake myself up.  If I had not learned to love, respect, trust and accept myself as I am right now, I may have still been at war with my ego.  Thankfully I have learned, and each day it's easier to recognise the play, the steps of the dance, the lyrics of my song, the child's attempts at seeking attention and strokes.  While I would have once got angry, flustered, impatient, controlling, abusive and demanding with myself, now I can notice, smile, attend and flow through it much more quickly.  Each day it's easier to say "I AM who I AM and that is enough".  

Someone once asked me how many facets of myself I thought there might be and I answered "how many cells does the human brain have?"  Although they doubted there could possibly be that many, I was sure the number could and would be infinite.  Over the 7 years since then I have unearthed many facets of my own being at many different levels, in many different ways and even though I cannot claim it was always easy, it has been incredible and oh so very rewarding.  Discovering myself layer by layer and moment by moment, seeing how all of the facets of me fit together like a natural, uncut diamond is amazing.  The fractal beauty and integrity of the lines, tones, nuances, scope and brilliance in the creation of life within each moment is phenomenal.  Sometimes the learning takes my breath away in wonder, sometimes it leaves me in a quivering heap, sometimes it fills me with joy and delight, sometimes it drops me to my knees in darkened rage and sometimes it raises me above all of life and expands me beyond all comprehension.  Still I continue to learn and I want so much to learn but more than that, I want to live - to really live.  I AM now living and not just existing, I AM now feeling, growing, learning, experiencing, being and doing with intent.  I AM no longer a 'survivor', 'thriver', 'warrior', 'follower', 'leader', 'teacher', 'student', 'wayshower', 'pathfinder', or any of the other labels my ego needs to apply to feel safe.  The only label I choose right now is I AM.  In this moment I AM and that is fabulous to me.  That my ego and soul can sit together in peace, even if only for a moment is peace beyond desire.  As one moment is all that there really ever is, that's long enough for the experience to last.  One day I might look back and string all the moments together like a chain of pearls to adorn my beloved throat or ajna chakras with but for now I sit peacefully in this moment with the unity of who I AM.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

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