Wow

The past two days has brought an amazing amount of abundance into my life on every level.  Last week I decided that my next goal for myself is to en-joy life more.  The word root "en" apparently means to "be in" so to "enjoy" something means to be in the joy of it.  Having been highly dissociative for a large chunk of my life I was not really able to 'be' in anything but a miserable fog.  I have learned since then to enjoy things and now I know it's time to take that to a new level too.  Children are naturally joyful and my Inner Child is like any other child so I start there as always with me.  My Inner Child is the most incredible gift in my life and has opened me up to more joy than I had once ever imagined possible.  Raising the stuck energy around my once frozen emotions through traumatic recall, my Inner Child screamed out for my help in a myriad of ways, some quite frightening and destructive (like PTSD, flashbacks, suicide attempts and self harm).  Fortunately I survived it all to recognise it for the internal cry for help that it really was for me.  Just like any other infant, my Inner Child could only communicate with me by screaming and crying out her pain in the hopes that I as the parent would notice and respond.  Sadly, I was so unified with my Child self then that I re-acted instead and was unavailable for truly affective nurturing.   My Inner Child is a true champion, she persevered and eventually broke through the walls of my heart.  Now I adore and cherish her along with the Inner Child in everyone I meet.  

Children need joy like they need breath and Inner Children are no different.  The trouble I experienced as did many people I've met, is that I am the only person who can successfully parent my Inner Child.  When I did not know that, my Inner Child projected all of that inner pain out onto those around me so I could see it and stop it but I didn't know that so I did neither.  In fact, like most people I know, I felt hurt by what I saw in my 'mirrors' and blamed them for my pain.  I beat up on my Inner Child for creating all this pain because I didn't understand or even know really, what an Inner Child was.  So not only did I blame, I also judged and abused myself for it all too which just compounded all that pain, suffering and anguish and it became a really vicious circle.  I feel grateful today that I now have the information and support that I need to heal those wounds and find something to be grateful for out of every experience I've had, no matter what the experience was.  Now that I have found that gratitude, I am even finding that I'm manifesting abundance in ways I did not know previously existed.  It's staggering to me yet how profoundly my life is changing because I finally realised the worth of who I AM.  I have now gone into territory that is pioneering for me and indescribably peaceful and I am trying to integrate this new awareness into my daily life so that I might sustain it indefinitely.  I refuse to pressure myself consciously and I meet people every day who support my patience by reflecting that back to me in their own behaviours.  The most amazing things are drawing to me right now and my heart is opening to an incredible capacity once again.  This time I know that I can and will protect my heart and teach it what it needs, just as I would do for any other child.

I have heard it said that in order to support another, we are not able to go with them to any place we are not prepared to go to within ourselves.  I am unafraid of that journey and I will go wherever the Light calls me to go.  I will cross any ocean, traverse any wilderness, excavate any dis-ease within myself in order to find, face, and love my truth, no matter how dark it gets.  And I will be Remembering Unity as I walk beside anyone else who makes that journey inwards too.   

What an amazing abundant life.

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RememberingUnity

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

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