What an amazing breakfast experience!  My body bade me to make a smoothie today: mixed berries, pineapple pieces, cranberries, shredded coconut, lite coconut milk, banana, water, and lsa.  2 minutes in the blender and pour half into a big glass for brekkie.  The other half went into a bowl with some chia seeds and into the fridge for breakfast tomorrow.

As I prayed over my food and sent love and gratitude for all beings who suffered, sacrificed or were harmed to provide me with such a magnificent offering, I felt the gratitude and love coming back to me from my own Soul for the harm and suffering I experienced and the sacrifices I've made to bring my Soul into my being.  My ego was lifted on wings of gold as tears poured down my face and I bowed at the feet of the Divine Within once again.  I may need to take up ballroom dancing one day to learn the language for the dances I do with my God-self.  No dance has ever felt as sensual, graceful, staccato, flowing, ethereal or brazen.  I've danced a million steps in this life and felt God in every one of them: driving my feet to pound the earth beneath me as gently as possible while still planting firmly; pouring into my throat to sing along in time; seizing my body with calming confidence while filling my mind with the ecstasy of joyous love and wonder.  As my body sways and rocks I fill up with God and breathe it in to every cell, overflowing with gratitude for life itself - all of it.  No suffering, harm or sacrifice is too much for this dance.  Life is a dream and now that I'm awake to that, everything glows within and without.

This dance is expanding me into food, movement, resolution, revolution, surrender, bliss, awe, gratitude, grounding, healing and more.  I balance my whole Self with trips to the pool, healthy plants as food, burning up old rubbish inside, clearing and sweeping inside and out and feeling my feet on the earth as I walk, breathing in the peace and allowing my senses to attune fully to this life.  Even now as I write, the birdsong rises slightly to meet me.  I hear at least a dozen different twitters and tweets as they delightfully bid us all a good morning.  If this is my sacrifice then it has been worth every bit of it to feel the love I feel for life right now.  Now that I trust me, trust life, trust God and trust my breath, my surrender is almost complete.  My foggy goggles are coming off and I'm beginning to see life as my Soul does, as a joyful play in the park; as a school for growth; as a university for the spirit; as existence being Love; as Light itself as itself.  What an amazing breakfast!!

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1153491604726872:0

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #awakening #light #selflove #soul #unity #gratitude  #mythoughts #livinglife #ॐॐॐ #love #peaceonearth #remembering #beingreal #beingtrue  #divinity  #healingtrauma #follow4follow #like4like  #instalike #instadaily #instafollow #spiritual #faith #faithful #TagsForLikes #god #grace  #coexist #spirituality #trust #peace #calm #hope #destiny #wisdom #compassion #forgiveness #thankful #vegan #raw #knowledge #meditation #meditate #guidance

Reality is subjective and the mind struggles to see past its own experiences so that it can expand, grow, learn and surrender.  Neuroscience and physics are quickly proving that whatever our brain believes is real IS real for our brain.  When we attach to the e-motion/s elicited by our beliefs, it's impossible for reason to engage, for rational thought to occur.  Pushing down these feelings or numbing ourselves to them makes it worse, just another form of attachment because we are telling ourselves they are real too.  I'm finding that allowing these energies to flow through me as breath and watching them teach me about myself is magical, healing and liberating.  

I remember about eight years ago having an experience of extreme bliss and understanding.  For about five minutes, I felt as though I understood everything and everyone everywhere and, as I gasped in awe I also recognised that it could not possibly last.  I felt the true power of that moment and just knew it was not possible for me to sustain it as I was.  I surrendered to the joy in the moment knowing it would soon end and allowed myself to focus on having the moment at all.  I also knew that this moment would sustain me many times into the future, like a light leading me home.

That was a subjective experience that I chose to have.  My mind could have believed anything it wanted to about that moment.  I chose love because my heart had opened enough to do that.  Since then I have consciously practiced choosing love in as many situations as I can.  I chose to believe that by 'practising' to choose love, I would be able to create new neural maps in my brain.  Once the heart opens and love becomes the instinctual choice (through repetitive 'practice') life takes on a whole new dimension.  I cannot describe anymore the heights I've reached through practising love in the lows.  My latest opportunity to practice this is through learning self-love and it has proven as subjective as anything else.  Dictionary.com defines 'subjective' as: "existing in the mind; belonging to the thinking subject rather than to the object of thought."  Self love is the newest joy that my mind is applying to my experiences and I can see why I was unready before now.  The first few months were far beyond anything I would have previously thought possible and I feel blessed to have learned in my life what I have up to that point so I could get myself through it.  Using my signature "4 elements to heal", I was able to rise to Remembering Unity and still I rise.  

I AM all things and yet no thing and although my fears buffet me in disbelief from time to time, I choose love.  I surrender my previous paranoias, conspiracy theories, doubts, fears and the ego that created them all, to embrace the Divine 'is-ness' of existence.  As my mind believes that my heart beats within my chest, so I use those beats to lead me home, to breathe into any existence I choose. I choose love and as I journey on I will learn to love every single moment knowing that there is only one moment anyway - an existential Groundhog Day that exists as bliss for my Soul.  The subjective beliefs I choose to have can cloud my vision or enhance it and once again: I choose Love.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1152074151535284:0

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #awakening #light #selflove #soul #unity #gratitude  #mythoughts #livinglife #ॐॐॐ #love #peaceonearth #remembering #beingreal #beingtrue #divinity  #healingtrauma #spiritual #faith #god #grace  #coexist #spirituality #trust #peace #calm #hope #destiny #wisdom #compassion #forgiveness #thankful #knowledge #meditation #meditate #guidance

The journey to humility has brought many Teachers into my lifetime.  Each had their own style of teaching that reflected back to me, something I was unaware of in myself.  I've had Teachers who helped me surrender through fear, terror, hopelessness and more.  It took me a very long time to see their gifts to me at all and then to see my own gifts as well.  There are three Teachers though who taught me to surrender through Unconditional Love.  Through my devotion to them, I surrendered without even knowing I was surrendering.  The first of these Teachers was my son.

When I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant with my son, I began to expand more consciously into life.  I began to question myself and my motives.  I began to consciously explore what my perception of love truly was.  I felt scared that my love was conditional, unfair in some way to my baby.  I didn't want to have a baby just to fill a need of my own.  I wanted to simply bring life into the world and to feel grateful for the honour of doing it.  I wanted to always remember what a gift it is to be granted such an honour as giving life and raising the next generation.  When my son was born, I arranged my whole world around him in surrender to the wisdom of life.  I was rewarded with confidence, groundedness, expansion, joy and a new love for life.  The joy of consciously surrendering my will to the will of a powerless baby was rejuvenating and life-affirming.  It was something I really needed by then and I flourished in offering service to the Divine in such a loving, devoted way.  I even began learning by osmosis, how to take better care of myself.  My body rejected everything unnatural and I heaved at even the smell of sugar so my own nutrition improved overnight!

When my daughter came three years later I was more than happy to surrender again.  What I didn't know at the time was how controlling I really was so it was more of a struggle to surrender this time.  I had been so at peace when my son was born that he reflected back complete peace to me.  My poor baby girl came when I was screaming inside for love and safety and she reflected that back to me.  As I had no idea about soul mirrors or reflecting, I just clung to the hopelessness I felt at not being able to comfort her.  I certainly didn't know how to meet my own needs then either.  Deciding that I was the problem, I went back to work and surrendered some of the care to their father too.  It was really hard but eventually I learned to accept I was not the only person who loved my kids devotedly.  I didn't know then either that my future path would be to leave my kids before any of us felt ready to be so tragically separated.

When they were 10 and 13 I found myself so completely destroyed that it was becoming dangerous for me to be near my kids.  I became suicidal for months and almost didn't survive.  I chose to surrender to my love for them once again and get away from them completely.  It was that Love that drove me for the next two years to do whatever it took and to humble myself in whatever way I could so I could reunite with my beloved babies.  I had no way to call them, no money, I was 1000kms away and for three months, I even lived in my small car.  I legally surrendered all that I had ever owned to the children's father so they would be cared for and have a home.  Every day was a tremendous and painful lesson in humility and surrender.  That's when a new Teacher appeared in my life and taught me again the joy of surrendering through Love.

I'm now married to that Teacher and every day still I learn more about surrender.  In the safety of Unconditional Love I have been able to learn the true joy of service through devotion as an adult, an equal.  I have learned the life-giving importance of self-love along the way and how impossible it is to love someone else unconditionally if I hate myself.  I've learned the little things in life are big things and the things I thought were big are really quite little.  I've learned the importance of speaking up and of keeping quiet, of discernment and of surrender.  My kids taught me how to surrender and now I'm learning why to surrender. It has nothing to do with submission and everything to do with loving life itself.  In our relationship, my husband and I share responsibility.  We take 100% responsibility for ourselves and support each other when needed.  We ebb and flow together like a tidal pool and we know how to surrender our ego in the moment to meet each other in the field of authentic love we have both created and cultivated together.  We have learned that anger ultimately comes purely from fear and we each take responsibility for our own emotional needs before coming together to nurture each other and discuss what we need to discuss.  We don't agree on everything, and in fact we often disagree but we respect each other too.  We have both learned a lot in this life about unnecessary fear being projected onto others and we choose to Teach each other through Unconditional positive regard.  The greatest thing about our relationship is how much it helps us both to learn more effective ways of being with other people too.  We've both learned more patience, love, determination, peace, humility and surrender just by loving each other.

My Teachers are phenomenal, even the ones who taught me through fear and terror.  I thank each of them for the love their Souls have afforded me in this life and I look forward to meeting the Teachers I have yet to meet.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1150419975034035:0

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #awakening #light #selflove #soul #unity #gratitude  #mythoughts #livinglife #ॐॐॐ #love #peaceonearth #remembering #beingreal #beingtrue  #divinity  #healingtrauma #follow4follow #like4like  #instalike #igers #instadaily #instafollow #spiritual #faith #faithful #TagsForLikes #god #grace  #coexist #spirituality #trust #peace #calm #hope #destiny #wisdom #compassion #forgiveness #thankful #knowledge #meditation #meditate #guidance

I am finding I can now pinpoint the other times in my life when my life force danced through me to fulfill the evolutionary promise of incarnation.  The last time being in 2013 when I was struck immobile by a sudden neck spasm which preceded unexplainable pressure behind my eyes that had a neurosurgeon concerned.  My eyesight suddenly deteriorated alarmingly but an ophthalmologist told me there was no medical reason for it.  Throughout the course of my life I have had that added onto many doctors visits: "there does not seem to be any medical reason for your symptoms".  When I was young I used to get angry because I was terrified of what was happening but for the past 7 years at least, I've been intrigued and excited most of the time to find out for myself what is going on.  My main guides in this have been Annette Noontil, Louse Hay, my Inner Child and my very own body.

Metaphysical health has been a miraculous and intriguing science for me to discover, learn and heal with.  I rarely visit medical personnel now as I know they will usually be unable to help me and it's not because I judge them as inadequate anymore, it's because I  now know the wisdom of my body.  I now trust my body to reveal what is going on and how to change it.  Although my eyesight is still not back to 20/20 vision, I am currently working on changing my metaphorical sight.  Instead of worrying about whether or not I can see to read, I am allowing my perceptions to change.  I recognise that my eyesight is poor because my perceptions need to become clearer.  Last year I suddenly opened up to metaphors in a breathtaking way and since then life has not been the same.  It has been like a wonderful miracle and all of my past has re-surfaced for re-membering.  Decades of trauma that I had already worked through came cheerfully back to my consciousness again in order to recognise the supreme truth of it.  I had reached the point of forgiveness and found myself plunged into the warm and liberating light of seeing that there is actually nothing to forgive. Even now, events occur around me and I see they are just opportunities to observe, flow, release, forgive, learn from, find the blessing, and allow my Soul to grow more fully within my being.  I thought I was loving before but this stage I'm in now has opened my heart and indeed all of me to a whole new level of wonder.

I have my body to thank for this as much as anything.  It is my body that has journeyed through this life abused, neglected, harassed, tempted, fettered, shackled and mutilated.  It is my body that has screamed longer and louder and still been unnoticed for the most part.  It is my body that ensured  my archetypal heroes journey was possible.  Like a whole other Self, my body has been my constant companion from before the first breath and She has served me devotedly.  Now that I see this so clearly, I am returning some of the devotion and getting to know this trusted friend of mine.  Daily dates at the pool to walk, float and exercise in the water; ultra-healthy nutrition; full breath; no stimulants, sweeteners or drugs of ANY kind; regular IYS healings; research and learning; daily meditation, mantra and prayer; listening to my body.  All of this is allowing the truth of my existence to flow through me without effort.  Mind, body, spirit: what an incredible, amazing, joyful, blessed, wonderful thing life is.  Now I can dance again, I'm free to be me.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #awakening #light #selflove #soul #unity #gratitude  #mythoughts #livinglife #ॐॐॐ #love #peaceonearth #remembering #beingreal #beingtrue  #divinity  #healingtrauma #follow4follow #like4like  #instalike #igers #instadaily #instafollow #spiritual #faith #faithful #TagsForLikes #god #grace  #coexist #spirituality #trust #peace #calm #hope #destiny #wisdom #compassion #forgiveness #thankful #knowledge #meditation #meditate #guidance

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1149224705153562:0

Choosing non-violent thoughts is every bit as important as choosing non-violent actions.  Science has already proven that everything is energy.  We are energy, the earth is energy, our emotions are energy, animals are energy, plants are energy, water is energy and our thoughts too, are energy.  Everything relates to and impacts everything else. I believed for a long time that my thoughts were mine and had no impact on anything else unless I created an action from them e.g acted out or spoke my thoughts allowed.  Now I know differently and after learning that my emotions make a difference, I also recognise the difference my thoughts make.

There are many things that have upset me in this life - abuse, trauma, injustice, violence and more.  After years of trying to speak up, speak out, help others heal, make a difference around me, I'm now concentrating on my own thoughts.  I now choose peace and non-violent thoughts.  I'm not perfect and nor do I want to be, I am just aware of the energy of the world I'm in and how much difference it makes if I am adding to the hostility, judgment, bias, fear and negativity.  All of that comes from fear and I choose Love.  I've been talking the talk for a long time and my intention to walk the talk runs very deep.  For me, I choose to live my truth if I want to speak it out so that I 'know' my truth inside and out.  I actually don't expect others to share my beliefs because I believe we all have a choice.  I'm very content to accept that we are each created for a divine purpose to be exactly who we are and while some of us are pure Love, some of us are not.  Some of us are aggressive, some are meek, some are violent, some are passive, some are toxic, some are peaceful, some are agitated, some are terrified, some are powerful and some are powerless.  Just like a physical body, each of us plays a vital function in the overall performance of that body.  Each part is unique and quite important to the whole.  Each part is interchangeable and intriguing but no less important than any other part in the long run.  I perceive the entirety of creation to be 'The Body' of God - The Divine 'Body'.

When I choose violent thoughts, I send that energy throughout creation and add to the already large shadow of humanity.  I have always believed it but was not strong enough in my own conviction to stand behind the belief or share it.  When I was learning to manage my emotional energy, I learned to accept the violence of my thoughts and act them out in relative safety and it was necessary for me to go that because my unconscious thoughts were very violent.  I was stunned at the veracity of some of them for quite some time and I really didn't want to acknowledge them, let alone act on them.  I began to pray and offer them directly to my God so that no one would be injured so that I could do what my heart told me I needed to.   How could I possibly accept and make peace with my shadow if I never even acknowledged it?  I went in hard and I excavated a lot.  I found I was acting out in safety and finding fear was behind every bit of it.  As I learned to love and accept it as myself, Love began to take over and dissolve all that violence inside.

Now I choose non-violence and I know it's impossible.  I eat, only plant based foods now but science have proved they have feelings too so the best I can do is be grateful, mindful, appreciative and loving.  I do not judge the choices of others and I don't need to, it's their choice.  Everything has a purpose and mine is to be me, as I AM right now.  The least I can do is respect the right of everybody else to be who they are too.  

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1147658831976816:0

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #awakening #light #selflove #soul #unity #gratitude  #mythoughts #livinglife #ॐॐॐ #love #peaceonearth #remembering #beingreal #beingtrue  #divinity  #healingtrauma #follow4follow #like4like  #instalike #igers #instadaily #instafollow #spiritual #faith #faithful #TagsForLikes #god #grace  #coexist #spirituality #trust #peace #calm #hope #destiny #wisdom #compassion #forgiveness #thankful #knowledge #meditation #meditate #guidance

Wow

The past two days has brought an amazing amount of abundance into my life on every level.  Last week I decided that my next goal for myself is to en-joy life more.  The word root "en" apparently means to "be in" so to "enjoy" something means to be in the joy of it.  Having been highly dissociative for a large chunk of my life I was not really able to 'be' in anything but a miserable fog.  I have learned since then to enjoy things and now I know it's time to take that to a new level too.  Children are naturally joyful and my Inner Child is like any other child so I start there as always with me.  My Inner Child is the most incredible gift in my life and has opened me up to more joy than I had once ever imagined possible.  Raising the stuck energy around my once frozen emotions through traumatic recall, my Inner Child screamed out for my help in a myriad of ways, some quite frightening and destructive (like PTSD, flashbacks, suicide attempts and self harm).  Fortunately I survived it all to recognise it for the internal cry for help that it really was for me.  Just like any other infant, my Inner Child could only communicate with me by screaming and crying out her pain in the hopes that I as the parent would notice and respond.  Sadly, I was so unified with my Child self then that I re-acted instead and was unavailable for truly affective nurturing.   My Inner Child is a true champion, she persevered and eventually broke through the walls of my heart.  Now I adore and cherish her along with the Inner Child in everyone I meet.  

Children need joy like they need breath and Inner Children are no different.  The trouble I experienced as did many people I've met, is that I am the only person who can successfully parent my Inner Child.  When I did not know that, my Inner Child projected all of that inner pain out onto those around me so I could see it and stop it but I didn't know that so I did neither.  In fact, like most people I know, I felt hurt by what I saw in my 'mirrors' and blamed them for my pain.  I beat up on my Inner Child for creating all this pain because I didn't understand or even know really, what an Inner Child was.  So not only did I blame, I also judged and abused myself for it all too which just compounded all that pain, suffering and anguish and it became a really vicious circle.  I feel grateful today that I now have the information and support that I need to heal those wounds and find something to be grateful for out of every experience I've had, no matter what the experience was.  Now that I have found that gratitude, I am even finding that I'm manifesting abundance in ways I did not know previously existed.  It's staggering to me yet how profoundly my life is changing because I finally realised the worth of who I AM.  I have now gone into territory that is pioneering for me and indescribably peaceful and I am trying to integrate this new awareness into my daily life so that I might sustain it indefinitely.  I refuse to pressure myself consciously and I meet people every day who support my patience by reflecting that back to me in their own behaviours.  The most amazing things are drawing to me right now and my heart is opening to an incredible capacity once again.  This time I know that I can and will protect my heart and teach it what it needs, just as I would do for any other child.

I have heard it said that in order to support another, we are not able to go with them to any place we are not prepared to go to within ourselves.  I am unafraid of that journey and I will go wherever the Light calls me to go.  I will cross any ocean, traverse any wilderness, excavate any dis-ease within myself in order to find, face, and love my truth, no matter how dark it gets.  And I will be Remembering Unity as I walk beside anyone else who makes that journey inwards too.   

What an amazing abundant life.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1146364845439548:0

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #awakening #light #selflove #soul #unity #gratitude  #mythoughts #livinglife #ॐॐॐ #love #peaceonearth #remembering #beingreal #beingtrue  #divinity  #healingtrauma #follow4follow #like4like  #instalike #igers #instadaily #instafollow #spiritual #faith #faithful #TagsForLikes #god #grace  #coexist #spirituality #trust #peace #calm #hope #destiny #wisdom #compassion #forgiveness #thankful #knowledge #meditation #meditate #guidance

Light

I'm in the city today and I had forgotten how much I love it here.  My Inner Child is revelling in all the stimuli of people, places, things, sights, scents, aromas, tastes and smells.  I am more relaxed than I have felt in years and I can feel true peaceful joy quietly bubbling within me.  I have very little money but it's not bothering me because the experience is so rich.  This feels like when I was actually a small child around 3 years old who delighted in wonder at all of these things.  I don't find the city stressful like many others seem to.  Here I can still feel the Earth beneath it all, humming calmly and strongly.  I still see many happy and resilient plants and wildlife and the elemental are all quite joyful here with plenty to do and a vibrant, positive energy pervading it all.  I love it here and it still feels like home to me.  I found a powerful selenite tower to donate to the new crystal angel temple at my mission and one for myself because they see so affordable and I received just enough cash for them moments before I saw them, a sign to me so why not?  I'm having such a rich and rewarding experience here.  Last night my husband and I ordered Indian food and when we went to pay they told us it was complementary!! It was a $70 dollar order and they would not accept payment.  We walked out to the car dazed and so grateful.  When we got back to our room to eat it, we found we had no cutlery available and so decided to eat the food with our hands.  Certainly a first eating rice with my hands and I found I really enjoyed that too.  Afterwards, my husband found I had cutlery in my car so it all unfolded exactly as it was meant to for me.  I've recently been focusing my intention on having more fun with life, loving myself more and opening up to more unity than ever before and these kids of gifts and graces are very typical for me.  Sadly I was largely unaware before of how much I receive in life.  Now that I've been working so deeply not only on forgiveness but gratitude at a soul level for every experience I've had in life, more and more amazing things are unfolding.  Life is bliss for me and even in the darkest moments now, there's always a Light.  It shines within me, out of me, through me, and for me and I'm gunna let it shine.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #awakening #light #selflove #soul #unity #gratitude  #mythoughts #livinglife #ॐॐॐ #love #peaceonearth #remembering #beingreal #beingtrue  #divinity  #healingtrauma #follow4follow #like4like  #instalike #igers #instadaily #instafollow #spiritual #faith #faithful #TagsForLikes #god #grace  #coexist #spirituality #trust #peace #calm #hope #destiny #wisdom #compassion #forgiveness #thankful #knowledge #meditation #meditate #guidance

Transactional re-parenting

When my children were teenagers I was suddenly faced with the heartbreaking knowledge that it was impossible for me to protect them from every horror in life.  I realised in that moment that they would likely experience pain, sadness, fear and even horror and that I was powerless to prevent it at all.  For a brief moment I dipped into the feelings of powerlessness and terror that I had become so accustomed to but then something else rose up within me.  I hugged my Child self and reminded me that adults always have power so there must be at least one thing I could do for my kids.  I chose Love as my one thing.  I recognised that all I can ever hope to do for my kids is to love them.  When they inevitably face the trials of their own journey through life, the biggest help I can offer is to be an island of love in the storm.  

I own that as a parent I assisted in some of the storms my kids faced and that may continue.  The love I have for them has been devoted and pure since before they were born and they have been one of the biggest motivators for me in improving myself.  I have learned so much from loving these amazing beings and I know they are divine blessings in my life, even when I may not agree with them or appreciate the lessons they bring me.  It's not always easy to remember that lessons are blessings but it's getting easier.  This love for my children and the lessons they have brought me have expanded my heart and my consciousness beyond imagination and there has been another surprise bonus:  they have taught me how to re-parent myself with love too.

Learning to re-parent myself with love, joy and nurturing has been intense and fulfilling for this past 12 years.  This past week especially I have again been reflecting on the parallels of parenting me compared to parenting my kids.  I recognise that I cannot protect my Inner Child from every conceivable pain and experience, and to try would be rescuing aka disempowering.  Just like my kids, I need to have experiences in order to grow and learn too.  I know that what I can be for my Inner Child is an island of Love; a shelter from the storms; a refuge after the deluge of life has passed; a retreat to lick her wounds and find safety in my arms; a heart filled with compassion and understanding.

The transactional ego model gets judged by those who are not destined to use it for their growth but for me it has transformed my entire life and every relationship for the better.  Knowing when I'm rebelling, rescuing, criticising or wounded, in wonder or nurturing is so helpful to me raising my awareness of me and all of creation.  I feel blessed to simply have the knowledge but applying it is miraculous for me and I appreciate my Self for that determined application too.

My Inner Child needs me to stand strong and be the strength I know I can be to keep the Light of Love burning inside.  Individuality is the key to growth and I'm ready to embrace mine as a strength now because I finally Love my Inner Child, my Self more than anything else.  Now I'm off to find some joy.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1141934035882629:0

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #om #aum #followforfollow #awakening #light #selflove #raiseyourvibration #soul #unity #spiritualgrowth #gratitude  #mythoughts #energy #livinglife #positivevibes #ॐॐॐ #love #peaceonearth #remembering #beingreal #beingtrue #wakingup 

#weareallinthistogether #divinity #myownhero #healingtrauma 

What?

Did you know that trauma has impacts as unique as we all are?  What may be of no significance to me may be a major trauma for you and vice versa.  There is no way to fully determine what each individual may perceive as traumatic because the brain decides.  Trauma has physiological impacts on the brain and body and in more ways than science currently understands.

After over a decade of healing, I am learning that traumatic experiences, while often debilitating, destructive and disempowering in my eyes, also actually have had very positive effects on me too.  Spiritually, traumatic reactions have raised my level of consciousness.  Each time I was abused over a thirty-five year period, my innocence fell away in terror.  I experienced pain, horror, disbelief, atrocity and unimaginable shock.  I turned within to get through it and although for a long time I hated myself, I still learned to trust myself more on some level too.  I learned to count on myself and no one else which, although maladaptive for a while, created a sense of responsibility and integrity in me that is quite admirable.  I learned to care about the suffering of others as I felt I knew how much they hurt.  I learned to judge myself and others which is leading to discernment as I put the whip of harsh judgment away and see everything as a reflection.  I learned that each time I get triggered into a traumatic reaction my brain is growing new neurons to help me change the pattern.  I learned that beyond forgiveness there is a huge meadow of gratitude waiting for all who dare to seek it out.  I learned that trauma is not the soul-destroying monstrosity I used to suffer but rather is a soul-expanding opportunity to open the heart to an indescribably amazing level.  Most of all I've learned that trauma has a purpose and it's not what I always thought it was.

It still breaks my heart that I and millions of others suffer abuse and trauma.  I pray that it ends soon and we all find a way to stop abusing each other with our thoughts, actions and words.  One of my greatest sadnesses in this life has been seeing how hurtfully we behave when we are hurting.  It's normal and human behaviour but slowly we are changing it.  Once we do, the path will be clearer and we can then put our energy into healing this magnificent earth instead.  We are all different and unique and we are supposed to be.  Each of us has a vital part to play in the stage production called "Life" and every part is important from the chorus line to the lighting crew, from the director to the delivery person, from the cleaner to the ticket buyer.  There is nothing that does not have an important role to play to ensure the whole thing works as it should.  We are the play of "Life" and yet we try to make every part identical, wanting to see ourselves in the lead and have the whole production reflect who we perceive ourselves to be.  When we realise it is actually reflecting back who we really are but don't see ourselves to be, the ego can "die" and allow the soul to pour in.  This is where the miracles live.  I long to see how many miracles we can achieve if we can stop judging and abusing each other long enough to love each other.  I'll be praying for that well beyond my last breath.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

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Bellbirds and Plovers

Bellbirds and Plovers tweeting in the trees beyond the walls give wings to the joy of the moment.  A scorching sun illuminates the Light within while the cool ceramic tiles beneath my feet ground me into peace.  A thousand "aha's" are ebbing and flowing within me and I'm choosing to let them be.  Observing the flow of truth is far easier than the drowning and gasping of attaching that I was used to before.  I've been allowing reflections of change to surface this week, particularly reflecting on how much my life has been blessed with practice to embrace change.  At the time I wasn't aware it was just practice and I went into all the usual human resistance, acting and re-acting as I learned to tread water in the metaphorical ocean of feelings and resultant emotions.  Most of the time I saw myself as drowning.  I was unaware of how adeptly I learned; of how I was actually my own coach, projecting out my determined and unrelenting desires for my own need to excel onto those I loved and respected so that I could believe it was they and not me who created the vision of my perceptions.  For that time I needed to believe I was a victim so I could embark on a hero's journey to save the innocent Child within and vanquish the demons of life.  For a time, the victim archetype is as necessary as any other and disowning it changes the path for it is just another part of the journey.

Now that I am fully immersed in the dream of life, surrendered and unresistant, I see this all quite clearly and am set on a course of re-membering: bringing myself back into one with divine unity.  As a member of the divine body I do not need a label.  I may be a toe, a liver, a lung, a hair, a neuron, a cluster of cells, an electron or an electrical impulse in this one body I call creation, but I am a member of that body and I am re-attaching to it with joy and informed choice.

Everything I have ever experienced in this lifetime or any other is beginning to make complete sense to me now and I am still finding that Love is all there is, ever has been or ever will be.  Last night I talked with my birth mother on the phone for three hours and we both enjoyed it.  Afterwards I fell asleep instantly, smiling as I travelled home to reconnect with the God of my understanding to rejuvenate, revitalise, reenergise and restore my energy ready for another day.  I awoke this morning with a renewed sense of peace and contentment as I greeted myself as my own 'now' mother.  I now have so many outer mother reflections I've lost count but the most important mother I have is me.  I am the only one who can keep my Highest Self safe in this world and every other world.  I am the one that all the others reflect back to me and these days, they're all gorgeous, patient, understanding, empowering and have terrific boundaries so I'm seeing myself that way more and more.

I promised my Inner Child I would do whatever it takes and I honour that vow in this moment and every other because although nothing else matters, I do matter.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1140458656030167:0 

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #om #aum #followforfollow #awakening #light #selflove #raiseyourvibration #soul #unity #spiritualgrowth #gratitude  #mythoughts #energy #livinglife #positivevibes #ॐॐॐ #love #peaceonearth #remembering #beingreal #beingtrue #wakingup 

#weareallinthistogether #divinity #myownhero #healingtrauma 

Loving even my ego

There is an extremely fine line between judgement and discernment, between scepticism and trust, between certainty and faith.  I feel as if my entire life has been the narrow ledge between.  Times when I stumbled and slipped to one side or another and, like any gymnast or tight rope walker learning to master their craft, times when I fell right off and got covered in dust.  Other times when I nailed it so surely only to slip on my own ego and get carried into over-confidence.  Much as a baby learning to walk, I teetered through life learning and learning some more.  Each step has been an infinitesimal and yet gargantuan action.  Often my steps were re-actions, retracing steps repeatedly to gain the same footing but, each of those had their own vitality and purpose in the grand plan of me too.

For years I drowned in the sleepiness of unconsciously feeling unreal, not understanding that in that moment, unreal was who I was and that was okay too.  Then I spent 12 more years excavating my ego and recognising the strength of it.  I discovered my ego had in fact drawn on every interaction I'd had and compartmentalised every energy I'd felt.  I also discovered that through mastering the art of dissociation, my ego had not yet learned how to integrate this incredible gift of knowledge so I set about learning how.  I learned that for me the only way there, was to love myself: devotedly, faithfully, determinedly and purposefully.  

At first I floundered because I had hated myself for so long and drawn that hate to me from those I loved.  I had developed a very strong and powerful victim ego too and I had no awareness of it at all.  I surrounded myself with others who supported and sustained that as I learned to recognise it for myself and create a new structure for it in self-love.  It was very liberating, empowering and life-changing and I used elements of every healing modality I've ever heard of to bring it all together - to bring myself together.  Last year I fell into place.  I let go of my training bar, loved myself more than ever before and, having learned to trust, took my biggest leap of faith yet.  I knew it was going to hurt.  I knew it was going to burn.  I knew it was going to be lonely and, I knew it was a huge ending, a death of what had been.    My Highest Self warned me up front and I jumped in anyway because it was time, it IS time now.  This is not the first time I've walked that part of the path but it is the first time I've done it consciously and willingly.  I've heard it said that there's no second chances with life but for me there is and in fact, every moment is another chance to create life anew.  Learning to love myself really is the greatest love of all and everything I once thought I knew is now foreign, outdated, nostalgic and redundant.  None of it applies in the same way to this moment and yet it all helped to create this moment.  It is all important and yet it's not either.  Letting go and surrendering is profoundly exhilarating after the fall.  I give thanks today for the strength of my ego that has always led me further, dug deeper, held on and let go.  

I only know one person besides me who has ever had the strength to love my Shadow unconditionally and that's my husband.  It was through his demonstration of love for me that showed me how to love myself, no matter what I uncovered.  I balked at some aspects of myself, hated some, feared some, ignored some, avoided some, and flat out refused to acknowledge other parts of myself at all.  But underneath all that fear, I saw that he loved me no matter how horribly I behaved.  He had healthy boundaries and never accepted any disrespect and I need to see that too because it was totally foreign to me at the time.  He stayed patient, centred, faithful and loving throughout my entire excavation and, then asked me to marry him!! Even after seeing the darkest dark I had, he still loved me the same.  I have learned so much from him and from life itself.

I forgive myself for judging my ego through lack of understanding and I accept you ego  as my dearest ally beloved.  It is you who led me home to my Self, to my Soul, to my Divinity.  Whatever has gone before and whatever will come, there is no greater gift than integrating the Self and loving all that is.  Life is the greatest gift I can imagine.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1138622652880434:0

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #om #aum #followforfollow #awakening #light #selflove #raiseyourvibration #soul #unity #spiritualgrowth #gratitude  #mythoughts #energy #livinglife #positivevibes #ॐॐॐ #love #peaceonearth #remembering #beingreal #beingtrue #wakingup 

#weareallinthistogether #divinity #myownhero #healingtrauma 

Super Moon gifts

The upcoming super moon tomorrow (Australia) is such a bringer of joy for me.  I don't count the reflections and aha's as they arise, I simply acknowledge, learn and then release the energy it brings and keep going.  This moon has upped the tempo somewhat and although I would have once despaired, I'm not that person anymore.  My joy is born simply from the fact that I can recognise triggers as treasures, at the time they break through my awareness.  Describing the joy of it is almost impossible but for me it's like listening to crickets and frogs performing their nightly orchestral serenade in my garden; It's like waking up to the twittering cacophony of birdsong in the trees; it's like making love with my beloved husband; it's like hugging my children and it's like dancing barefoot in the grass.  

I have believed for a long time now that trauma being triggered within me is a gift that heals my brain but this level of healing, joy, gratitude and acceptance that I now experience was unexpected and I'm so glad I hung in there through it all.  I'm so glad I persevered and loved myself enough to not give up on me.  I'm so glad I chose to trust God in this even though it tore my heart out and broke me in half for a while.  I'm so glad I've done all the work I have in order to really find the core of who I am, and I am eternally grateful for my wonderful, patient and understanding husband who never stopped supporting me in a million ways all along.  My life today is so different from how it started and now I can finally see how it has all been for my own highest good.  It's still sinking in and it's not something I hear or see anywhere outside me, it's my own Inner knowing expanding me in exactly the way I always prayed I could grow.  

I once prayed to God to please open my mind, my eyes, my ears and my heart and to never let them close.  I remember the first time I prayed for that and much has happened since that at the time, I considered traumatic but not anymore.  I repeat that prayer more consciously now - often.  I have promised myself that I will never go back to sleep, no matter what.  I like being awake to Love, Light and Truth and my perception changes almost every moment now.  Surprisingly to me, it's no longer dizzying, nor does it feel chaotic for change to be the dominant factor in each moment.  It actually feels normal and natural now, like creation itself is happy to unfold inside me and I'm happy to move with it.

With the moon being the closest to the earth that it has been in 68 years, emotional tides will ebb and flow and this has been like a king tide.  Waves of energy make their way to my shores, washing over the gritty beaches within and drawing back again anything too large or too pressing to break over the surface gently.  Like a patrolling lifesaver, I keep my keen eye out for any distress signals and only intervene when absolutely necessary.  I know now that loving myself is life-saving and I'm finding joy in it.  I'm finding joy in just simply being alive and that is the gift I call the 'present' now.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #followforfollow #awakening #light #selflove #raiseyourvibration #unity #spiritualgrowth #soul #gratitude #love  #mythoughts   #energy #livinglife #positivevibes #peaceonearth #remembering #worklifemyway #beingreal #beingtrue #ॐॐॐ

#weareallinthistogether #om #aum

Now

Past and future are merely reflections of now.  Yesterday and tomorrow have served a positive purpose that may have taken lifetimes to recognise and even longer to accept and embrace.  For me now there is only ever one moment, this moment.  This moment keeps repeating on auto play like a divine Groundhog Day and my ability to perceive it as such is changing as much as I am.  Having recognised this has made a gift of history and I'm finding joy in allowing the once trapped energy of my past to arise within me and release without hindrance or overwhelm.  Like the airborne creatures of the earth herself, these energies have now taken flight as they were originally designed to do and can make their way out of me and back to the Light.  On wings of love, peace, forgiveness and grace, each has their own gold, frankincense and myrrh for the liberation of the innocent infant within me.  All of the elements are working together to create perfect balance within and as each 'flock' takes flight, I receive another chance to practice patience, mindfulness, joy, delight and gratitude for every single experience that this moment reflects.  

Where once I would have feared these and caged them in the dark, I now lift my arms wide, throwing my head back to breathe love in and out and offer the up with delight.  Attaching to emotions is no longer the primary instinctual first call for my ego as it is now grasping the unconscious truth of simply being and feeling comfortable and safe with my I AM self.  Rather, as the energy flutters up from my roots, I draw on the previous experiences that were signposts of the need to release and observe them all as they proceed up and out.  Decades of now's that  I once found distressing, destructive and completely dissociated from, I now greet as friends for high tea.  They know they're welcome to come in but they're no longer residents, no longer boarding within these rooms indefinitely.  Any lingered are lovingly coaxed out of hiding and nurtured along their way.  This spring-clean is overdue and life-affirming in glorious ways.

After 12 years of learning to identify with emotions and thoughts to create a semblance of any identity, it's bliss to now allow all of life to flow as me, through me instead, in integrated no-thing-ness.  Over a decade of allowing thoughts and emotions to rule just so I could discover who this I AM really is.  I'm sure we all have to discover our own way in our own time and I feel grateful for what my 'now' is teaching me using my past and my future as angelic guides.  This dream called life is clearer for me now and it grows more amazing with each breath.  In this moment I AM breath, Light exists in me, as me and I need nothing more.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1135205116555521:0

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #followforfollow #awakening #light #selflove #raiseyourvibration #unity #spiritualgrowth #soul #gratitude #love  #mythoughts   #energy #livinglife #positivevibes #peaceonearth #remembering #worklifemyway #beingreal #beingtrue #ॐॐॐ

#weareallinthistogether #om #aum

Out of hell

I lived in hell for decades, every moment I experienced was terrifying to me and I rejected life because I couldn't see past that terror inside.  As I adapted to life in hell, it would all change and I'd be back in the chaos of the unknown and incomprehensible.  Day after day, week after week, year after year, decade after decade I tumbled, fell and rose up again.  Each time I got back up I was just a little wiser, stronger and more loving, more aware and mindful.  Quite a few times hell slammed me back upon myself so hard that I lay in a crumpled heap inside myself begging for mercy, pleading to die and end the agony.

Today I'm grateful for that hell.  Today I see how I created it, how even those prayers created it.  I didn't understand then that my pleas to die were heard metaphorically.  I died and died and died and died and then I died all over again.  As a spiritual 'child', I had the idea that the only way to die was if my body stopped functioning.  With the awareness I have now I recognise death in every moment, every new realisation, for death is never going to be about my body.  My body has died repeatedly already but 'I' have not, so death will not come as my body.  My ego however, my 'I', the 'me' that I THINK myself to be, that does die over and over again within every moment, just as its reborn every moment too.  Each moment is a complete lifetime in itself and I am the creator of it as well as the observer, the star, the choreographer, director, producer, chorus, projector, reflector and more.  My 'I' and my 'I AM' self are one but not, separate but united and beautifully balanced within and without.  When I lived in hell I had no perception of that whatsoever.  My own darkness prevented the Light from illuminating my own truth.  My own choice to protect my heart from pain, shut off the eternal flow of Love that has always been present.  Each choice I made, conscious or unconscious, either lifted me out of the darkness or slammed me back against the wall again.  

For decades I hated that hell and everything in it, I hated myself even more.  It was easy to blame hell for my pain while I was burning in the flames.  It was easy to look out and judge others with the righteous certainty I perceived of my own complete innocence.  Once I began to parent the child 'me' though, I found the courage to get back up again and face that fire.  With time, love, determination and will, I chose to pour myself into that fire again and walk through those flames to the coals at its centre, at my centre.  I walked in those coals and stood burning, I sat there, I wrote there, I felt there, I slept there, and I lived there, I even made love in those coals and I took my power back.  I showed myself the heaven of hell and I proved to myself that my perception of hell was as much an illusion as my perception of fear was.

Love/Light is the only Truth for me and all things come from Love/Light.  When I believed in my fear, I blamed hell for what I experienced because I was not ready to accept pain as a teacher or a friend.  I was not ready to love pain too and now I am.  I'm not looking for pain, I'm not inviting it in, I'm not asking for pain of any kind, I've just made peace with it and I respect it's Grace.  I have been chaperoned by pain in many disguises throughout most of this lifetime and it, above all else has taught me humility, love, forgiveness, awareness, mindfulness, truth, responsibility, gratitude, and even joy.  I parented myself with pain when I knew no better and now I can take the reigns back to re-parent with love.  I no longer fear nor need to fear, my shadow reflected back to me in others because I accept my shadow completely and all other aspects of myself as well, with unconditional positive love and regard.  

As the darkness arises, I see it for what I believe it to be - the absence of Light and I raise myself up again to stand at the coal face, filled with Love, Light and Peace.  I stand sure, ready and determined to send out Love and Light to all of creation and beyond as others learn now what I myself have learned.  May all beings be happy and free.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1134878956588137:0

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #followforfollow #awakening #light #selflove #raiseyourvibration #unity #spiritualgrowth #soul #gratitude #love  #mythoughts   #energy #livinglife #positivevibes #peaceonearth #remembering #worklifemyway #beingreal #beingtrue #ॐॐॐ

#weareallinthistogether #om #aum

May God Bless America

May God bless America and all the rest of us too.  Weeks ago I wrote about how I believe Donald Trump is merely a mirror for the ‘Shadow’ in us all right now.  I don’t believe that Mr Trump is any less a child of God than I am, nor is anybody else.  I do believe that were I to judge him so, I would be saying more about myself than him.  While the emotions are running high today, I truly hope that those who see this election result as a tragedy will come to see it differently in time.  Even if not possible, perhaps we the people of this world can begin to see the metaphorical realities amongst these events and use them to work more on embracing our own ‘shadow’ selves.  I lived many years believing that I had no ‘shadow’ and everyone else was at fault for my perception of the world.  I told myself that others were to blame for how I felt and yet, I know now that I was wrong.  It has taken over a decade of intense inner work and owning the brutal truth arising from that exploration and excavation of my own beliefs and values to wake me up to the beauty that really fills and surrounds me in this world.  

Metaphorically, I am unsurprised that Mr Trump has won this election because although the Divine Mother is closer to being embraced than She has been for a very long time, many are yet unready to surrender to the feminine energy that She brings.  As a reflection of the country they represent both Hilary and Donald are very translucent to me as the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine.  Even with the ideologies they each have that have polarized the planet for so long, each also has a balanced energy that resembles the homeostasis of our own bodies if we are able to view them dispassionately.  I doubt that is possible for many just yet but one day, perhaps not in the too far distant future, the world will recognise what has just happened for what it may truly be – the Divine Play unfolding around us as it is unfolding within us.  Whatever faults we may perceive in Donald Trump OR Hilary Clinton, they have raised the consciousness of the masses in a way nothing else has since 2001 and that is very definitely something that needed to happen.  We are awakening and the challenge now is to awaken to Love if we can, to fill our own hearts with Love and shine it out onto the world.  We’re all capable of it, as evidenced during natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina; at the worldwide funerals of Princess Diana, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa; and the utter devastation of 9/11.  

Is it really time to own and embrace our own shadows, to stop projecting them onto the world and hating the world or despairing for what we see reflected back to us?  For me it is.  I have been working to do that for myself and I knew this day was coming.  Perhaps the ‘shadow’ will loom much larger yet before the world awakens properly and wipes the sleep from it’s eyes.  Perhaps the world will sleep a little longer and call on a bigger, more obvious ‘shadow’ to appear before we see it as it is.  I hope this day is the day.  I pray today that Love and Light fills us all and opens our eyes, ears, hearts and minds to the possibilities that may present because a democratic majority chose to love themselves more than ever before and choose to create change.  For myself, I refuse to fall into judgment, hatred, fear or anything unloving as I aim to hold the energy of real Unconditional Love in my world with all that I am.  Regardless of the beliefs, values, perceptions or opinions that I have, I do congratulate everyone in the USA today for the courage, honour, integrity and hope that this result demonstrates you have.  Regardless of what I think or write – you have stood proudly for what your heart tells you is important and that is the place everyone in a democracy votes from – our hearts.  Hold your head high America and look within for the answers you now seek, for you will find those answers also in your big, brave hearts.  

May God bless America, and may Lady Liberty shine bright.

Remembering Unity

lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu

#2016election #rememberingunity #loveandlight #mirrorsandshadows #lovingtheshadow