Yesterday I drove a little way down the coast to meet up with a dear #friend. I've seen my friend perhaps four times in the past 5 years and we've both been through huge changes in that time but the love in our hearts is the same. Our bond is our #faith. We both believe totally in the love we have for God and the love we know that God has for us. Religion is not what drives faith for us, it is love that drives it, love, light, #trust, faith, #courage, #hope and knowing that we are far more than what our human eyes perceives us to be. We each feel the highest form of love in our hearts all the time and as friends we share that love with each other by accepting each other in each moment as we really are. The is no pretence at all and we go very deep. I'm not sure either of us knows how to skim the surface anymore. I know I've lost most of my other friends because I can't remember how to stay on the surface of life but I have to stay in the depths now, plumbing myself for pearls of #joy, love, #laughter and #peace. It's who I am.
In the depths of myself I see the light of life more clearly. In the depths I can hear the heart of all else ringing true. In the depths I can taste the sweetness of creation and trust that I have all that I need. In the depths I can feel life creating and recreating all of creation within me and without. In the depths I can tune in to eternity and breathe in the spice of life as an ever-changing, all-present aphrodisiac. In the depths of my being I can meet you in the depths of your own being and not shrink in fear. In the depths my senses are attuned to life in a way that demands I experience every person, moment, place and thing; fully #experience the all that is. In the depths I can be real and accept that you are real too and know that nothing at all needs to change. I'm not sure I would want to play in the shallows anymore where the reeds of fear and the sticky mud of pretence clings and beckons to stay out of the water all together but I know I will not stay away. No matter how deep or how shallow, I will not be turned back from love again.
Spending time with my #soul #sister helped me to recognise many more blessings in my life so far. Yesterday was my first opportunity to shop like a teenager (with no money) but with a friend. Although I've shopped with friends before, I had not done it with joyful abandon in my heart-I never knew how before. Yesterday I was able to feel free to be me in all ways. I didn't even have to give myself permission to have fun or to feel my feelings or to laugh or cry or giggle or eat healthy food or sit down or walk or talk or anything else for that matter. Yesterday I was able to be me in every moment without questioning myself, apologising to or for myself, correcting myself, doubting myself, fearing myself or dishonouring myself. I felt a mixture of #emotions as the day progressed and they were just a part of me and of the day, freely flowing and a part of the whole.
I'm done playing in the shallows of life. I plunge willingly into the depths as I always have. Now though, I feel no fear of plunging alone for I know that I am every drop of water I plunge into and with. I AM the water I plunge into, the reeds I meet at the edge. I AM the sticky mud I once could not accept. I am the light and the shade, the water and the sky, I am the earth and the moon and the sun and the stars. I am #creation and creator and I am unafraid of me anymore. I am a friend and I have friends and none of us ever has to be held prisoner to appropriateness or judgment by anyone other than ourselves.
I know that some of my friends can't or won't join my in the depths and I love them even more for that. Each and every person I have ever met has given me the #strength, courage, spark and determination to go deeper into my own #beingness and to want to go further still. No matter what reaction I may have had at the time, I am truly #grateful now for every, single encounter that I have had in this lifetime. From the delightful to the horrific, from the inane to the stimulating, from family to foe, from #angel to persecutor, from now to eternity and from loved to hated; I thank them all. My life is what it is because of every encounter and experience and the tapestry of my life has been woven so intricately and delicately that I have become at-one with creation itself. There is no greater gift that I can receive than this.
Now to plumb the depths of now through the senses of my humanity and see what else this moment has on offer.
https://www.facebook.com/JhundiP/posts/1038170916258942:0
At+Onement
#love #light #soul #healing #trauma #depression #dissociation
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