Today I'm imagining that there are hundreds or even thousands of 'me's across a vast array of times and dimensions. That every thought I think about me here and now affects one of those 'me's elsewhere right now. In divine unity, oneness with God, every person I meet is one of those 'me's and every judgment I make about me or anyone else has an immediate impact on Me.  In my past addiction to self-hatred, I scolded, berated, castigated, judged, beat and bashed myself with my thoughts.  I was a viscous, unempathic persecutor to Me and in my ignorance, I projected this out onto others so they reflected those behaviors back to me and I still could not see Me clearly. Now, as my eyesight fails noticeably, I am looking squarely into that mirror and really seeing the truth of who I am and although it's painful, it's also magnificent. Now that I can see my light and my shadow, I truly love Me and feel compassion for Me. I no longer need approval from my 'reflections'.....and to think that giving myself permission to revisit infancy could have such a profound and healing impact. 

I had been feeling guilty and ashamed for taking time to spend with the infant me. Yesterday I realised that I felt that same guilt and shame when I took time to spend with my newborn babies all those years ago. Somehow I had learned that simply being a mother for its own sake was not enough. Although I always believed it was absolutely enough, I had also learned not to trust myself. Therefore I carried that guilt and shame into motherhood and ever since. 

I still believe that becoming a mother to my babies was the greatest thing I ever did, and yesterday I realised that I can do that for me too, that I have been doing that for me too. Finally, I love myself as much as I adore my children. And that, is what healing is all about.

- June Parkin