OMG, I thought each day would get easier but I am finding it more difficult every day - does that mean I am really giving up - like - is my brain trying to come to terms with this and throwing out all the stops to draw me back into the addiction? I feel sorry for my brain coz it has learned to cope with extreme stress and trauma through nicotine and does not yet realise I have other means of coping.
No smoking in my dreams last night but I did have a dream 'cluster'. I get cluster migraines - a combination of cluster headaches and migraine. Last night, I got all of the emotions usually associated with clusters but not the pain (thank God). It had something to do with me being punished for quitting but not maliciously. I got the feeling my guys are testing my resolve to see how serious I am and I am very ready to prove myself to them.
I'm feeling really bored too. It's like all I had was smoking to keep me busy and I don't quite know what to do with myself without cigarettes. I didn't expect that. I knew I would struggle but I expected headaches, irritibility, anxiety and a hard to break habit but I didn't expect to be bored. Last time I gave up, I was working full time shift work so I didn't notice. oh well, onwards and upwards.
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