stop running

God showed me His plan for me and I started running!  It took me about 3 years to realise this had happened and it came to me without anyone else being involved, in fact, I hadn't told anyone about it coz I was too scared to give power to it in words!  Once I owned it out loud, I felt relieved but I've just realised today that although I owned it and accepted it, I am still running from it and almost hoping it wont happen.  Weird, coz I know it will happen and nothing will stop it but also, I can do it the easy way or the hard way and lets face it, I've done most things the hard way so do I follow the path of least resistane and jump in, creating anxiety for my brain by expecting too much of myself or, do I keep taking tiny baby steps like I've been taught now - that has worked well so far (better than the first alternative has) and keep plodding along?  Guess I've answered my own question.  Now I just need to decide if I plod along and self-care, will I be able to resist the urge to beat up on myself 10 years from now when I look back and see how much easier and faster I could have done it?  Choices!!!!