Patterns

I find patterns fascinating.  I try to look for patterns in my life, in people, in myself, in the world.  When I am in a grounded, positive and loving place inside, I notice patterns all around me and it feels empowering to me, like fore-thought, a sense of being in control of myself and my destiny.  In a pattern, different people will come to me with same issue or a number of people will say the same words or things will repeat till I notice them repeating.  

The downside of these patterns is patterning, absorbing patterns, being blind to patterns.  Patterns show/tell me what I need in that moment to heal and feel better.  That doesn't mean I will feel better, to me it means that if I look at what I can learn and feel what I feel, the pattern stops and a new pattern emerges.

There are patterns everywhere and the more I heal, the more patterns I notice.  The more patterns I notice, the more I heal.  For example, one day i might have 4 people each mention they are working through abandonment issues and the next day, up comes my core trauma around feeling abandoned.

These patterns can teach me if I pay attention.  I do try and I find that the more I talk to God and 'fill my tank' spiritually, the more I notice the patterns.  It feels almost like pointers from God for where to go next and I like thinking of it like that.

The current pattern I am aware of is inadequacy and fear.  Of course, most patterns contain a fear-based element and I generally am immune to that now but every now and then my baring plunges me back into fear and anxiety and I start to come from ego again which reinforces the fear and makes the pattern invisible again.

Right now, onwards and upwards

xxjxx