Trust

The web of life has thrown the illusion of "Trust" up for me lately and, listening to others I see the pattern unfolding.  I once trusted no one at all because I believed in my own fears so fully that there was nowhere for love to dwell.  The first time I really sat and reflected on why I did not trust anyone, it occurred to me that yes I may have been abused but now that I was safe???? As I sat holding the 'why' with an open mind and open heart, I began to see that it was not other people I did not trust - it was myself.  I did not trust myself to be able to cope with what other people might say or do.  I did not trust my own reactions.  A great weight lifted off me in that moment and I began to trust others from that day on.  I was still mindful of keeping safe but now I just 'knew' that I could keep me safe from anyone and anything.  It was huge.

Yesterday as I shared that with a friend I realised I've gone more deeply within to a new realisation around trust:  I never trusted life. Until recently I never believed that life would catch me if I fell, even though it did catch me many times.  My resistance to being alive made me mistrustful of it and so I did not fully take part in life.  I know now that I have always been who I was born to be and my life has unfolded perfectly to get me to today.  I hold no judgement of myself for the mistrust or the misunderstanding; it is all a part of the dance.

This past year of living with nothing but life to fall back on, in nature without those creature comforts I used to take for granted: potable water, electric lighting, heating, regular laundry days, clean dishes, money..... It has all been so miraculous and liberating.  I trust life now.  I trust that my safety net is as strong as my breath, as strong as my love, as strong as the earth herself.  I trust that life has got my back and that I can trust myself and everyone else too.  I trust life and it's a very peaceful feeling.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1066864323389601:0

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