My whole life has been a journey of awakening. Awakening from the egos sleep as the soul rises and stretches to greet the divinity of life itself. I've come to learn that life shows us in every moment what we need but we may not be able to see it for the gift it is yet. Like the Bill Murray movie 'Groundhog Day', I wake up each morning to live the same lessons until I learn them. Each day I learn something that I had not learned before and I go to sleep each night unaware that tomorrow I will be right there again to do it over, that it is all perfect and simple and in my own hands. One day I will suddenly think I've 'awoken' to some great mystery that no one else could possibly know. I will go through all kinds of transitional symptoms and then realise - it's just life and everybody knows it on some level.
I feel alone and isolated a lot these days and it's because I still judge myself. I've done it for so long that I've been working for years to stop and now I've made great progress. Now I do it in much more subtle ways (like the way I'm judging myself for writing this at all). Each day as I become more conscious of things like this it gets a little easier to just stop and be. To let the tears fall freely, whether they are sad tears, happy tears, lonely tears, or tears of bliss and love. Each day it takes less time to accept the lesson, love myself and remember peace. Each day there is more time to be in peace and not need to change it. Last night as I spent time with my Inner Child she danced and as she danced, thousands of pieces of old, cold, steel weights fell off onto the floor. Those weights were expectations I've had about myself, conditions I'd placed on me that I would never place on anyone else. I'm not new to this dance, I've lived and breathed it for so long now I don't know any other way to be. The dance is intricate, passionate, fulfilling and magical. The dance evokes all of life within me to rise up and take over my being with sensual abandon and to entice me into moving without effort. I'm a dancer and I love to dance, that's how life knows who I am this time around. Music is my call and She sings to me as I dance, breathe, fall, rise, doubt, believe, worry and surrender. Life is sacred music for me and I AM the song.
Yes it's lonely sometimes and that is when Nature is most benevolent, intruding into my thoughts with birdsong and buzzing; with grasses, trees, birds and breezes to bring me back to what's real - breath. Filling my lungs with life has me thinking of joy: of my sons hugs, my daughters smile, my grandchildren a innocence, my husbands love, my faith, my love, my heart and my life. My breath contains my music and I can dance through anything with the music filling me.
May we all remember to breathe when we feel low or discouraged and know that life will always hold us in Her arms with Love while we dance to our own song.
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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ
lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu
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