I'm filled with excitement after meditating cross-legged yesterday for the first time. I've been yearning to try it but been too afraid. At the age of 7 I used to cross my legs and walk around the room on my knees. I loved doing it and could do it for ages, it became my favourite exercise for a while. Be the age of 9 I found it difficult to cross my legs at all and by 15, I could not do it anymore. In my 20's I found my knees starting to stiffen and by 35, I could almost bend my knees at all. Drs told me at 37 robot walk up and down stairs or hills anymore as the arthritis in my knees would become worse. I as barred from exercising outside of water and no treadmill, bike or winning strokes allowed because my back also was broken and would no longer bend. I was miserable and so did hydrotherapy for 5 years but then I decided to.........dance.
Not dance classes, not aerobics, not even aquarobics. I danced to Nutbush City Limits. I danced one song every 2nd or 3rd week and then I took painkillers and slept for an hour. I gave myself permission to play and dance as a child would and I came to enjoy it. Last year I started formal meditation and realised I've been performing yoga for decades, I use didn't know that is what I was doing. Bhakti yoga is huge in my life and always will be.
Anyway, I can now meditate cross-legged for 40 minutes and, while I will work up to doing that daily, I feel really excited, blessed, grateful and proud that I've reversed all that supposedly irreversible and fatal health problems in the past 10 years. I know and believe that prayer, mantra, devotion and belief has helped as much as self-love has. I've gone from being rigid, reactive, inflexible and taking maximum dosage of codeine based painkillers every single day 12 years ago to sitting cross-legged for almost an hour, walking okay afterwards and needing no painkillers or drugs of any kind fir the past 10 months. I knew I could do it if I believed I could but proving it is an unbeatable feeling.
I pray that you find a belief in yourself to heal any pain you have, no matter what someone else tells you.
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lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu
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