Day 19/21
I've sent the past 2 days zoning the space in my new caravan so it meets all of the higher vibrational needs of my Soul - "Kiddie Korner", for play, reading, fun and feelings; "Devotional Den" for worship and prayer; "Talent Table" for writing and other crafts; "Needle Nook" for sewing and "Contemplation Cradle" for meditation and mantras. Last but not least "Library Lane" for the masses of healing books I've collected over the years. For the past 2 years the bulk of our belongings has sat unused in a shipping container and although we discussed letting go of it all a few times, we had not got around to actually doing it. It turns out our procrastinating has paid off because we were able to repurpose about 1/2 of it so far in creating the chakra garden and now in kitting out the caravans. I even found a couple of warm wraps I'd forgotten I owned so now it feels like I've got new clothes too, a luxury I'd given up on of late. Amazingly, I also received a large tub of warm, recycled clothing just 2 days ago from one of my angelic friends so this week has been a bit like Christmas for me really, aaaaand I've been warm!!
At+Onement
I took my baby doll into "Kiddie Korner" the first day and it felt so good to see that baby me surrounded by all the toys and teddies that my husband has collected for me. I don't recall having toys as a child so this was another reclaiming of childhood in amassing the collection I have now. I also have a few children's books so I can curl up and read stories to myself again among the toys, stickers and glow-in-the-dark stars, not to mention my mountain of coloring-in books, paints, pencils, pastels and bead-making kit to entertain the creative kid in me.
"Talent Table" is for my adult creativity to blossom through writing my books, poetry, journalling and any admin tasks I set myself. Being next to Kiddie Corner, it also has the table-top for the above-mentioned creative pursuits to happen on. "Library Lane" surrounds the table to keep the books within reach of my writing for easy access to quotes and in case I need to jog my memory for information. Behind me sits my "Devotional Den" for multi-faith prayers and devotions, a shrine for divine worship and gratitude to bless my daily life and enrich my Soul while expanding my consciousness with even more love. Next to that is my "Contemplation Cradle" with a double bed decked out as a large meditation cushion all comfy and colorful, doubling occasionally as a guest bed. The "Needle Nook" completed the zones with all my sewing gear handy in one place so I can start thinking about creating my own style again.
Both my husband and I felt a spark of excitement in this project as it feels good to have an indoor living space again. We love our little home and it has provided so much stimulation for our creativity and ability so it's the perfect home for us. Living outdoors though has had drawbacks and it felt wasteful to have a whole house full of lovely things going to waste in a shipping container like ours was. These caravans have created many delightful solutions to that and provided a project that connects us even more. We are both enjoying allowing our inner children out to consult on our designs again.
I'm having 2 whole weeks at home soon so I can devote myself to the first edit on my book and get closer to publishing it. I have almost enough words and it looks terrific, I just need to read it and see what it needs to polish it and ensure its worth reading. I must say myself that after reading the first 30 pages I'm impressed. I would read it myself if I had not written it. As an autobiography it's not too shabby and it did draw me in. I've been reading it to my baby doll as a kind of integration tool too, a way of sharing my pre-rebirth history with her.
There are so many layers of healing occurring for me with this baby doll and I have no idea what the future holds so I feel grateful for being able to be content with this moment. I did a double-take when I got out my toys to put in the van because one of the baby dolls I used previously for this exercise now looks totally different to me. I remembered the eyes on that doll being gray-blue when I used to look into them but now they are bright and light. I find it fascinating that my eyes see pictures of myself differently too now and that gives me hope that my vision will clear as I progress also.
I really have not seen my life clearly in the past and I knew that was why my eyesight was beginning to fail. I'm certain it will heal as the rest of my body has been in working through the layers of denial I had created around why I was in so much pain. My life is not to blame for my pain because there is no blame for me anymore. I've been learning and experiencing life and now I am letting go of the blame that victim-consciousness carries, I can see many things in it all to be grateful for so I choose to focus on that now instead. I've done the work on honouring the story, the victim, the child, and the survivor. Now it's time to honour my Soul and let it all go with love, compassion, forgiveness and gratitude. I feel so blessed to have reached such an amazing state of healing and I can only imagine the miracles that await. For me right now, I delight in having an indoor space to feed my soul and an outdoor space (my chakra garden) to feed my body. I feel healthy inside and out and I feel grateful to baby me for making it all possible in the first place.
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