I remember once buying a little pocket book of world history events although I don't know what it was called anymore.  It sat forgotten on the bookshelf for quite some time until one day, having nothing else to read, I picked it up through sheer boredom.  As I flicked through the pages disinterestedly something started firing within my brain and over the next few months I read and re-read that little book with fervor.  What had ignited my passion was a pattern that I saw in the information.  It appeared to me that nothing ever changes, that throughout history, since the dawn of time, the same things keep happening over and over again.  It was as if I were opening my eyes to the world outside me for the first time and seeing myself in it.  

I had always been intrigued by history and found old myths and legends fascinating.  This was something else, like a call from my Soul to awaken. As I searched for evidence to validate this pattern I saw, I at once applied my theory to all historical and current events in the world as well as to my own history and current events.  All around me patterns began to emerge and my excitement grew as I poured through news channels on the television with voracious intent, looking for more pieces of this puzzle to gain a bigger picture.  Then the world and I changed.

It was 1997 and a series of tragedies brought the world to its collective knees.  In the space of a few short weeks, a huge number of the people in this world learned to open their hearts to each other as they mourned a tragic and devastating earthquake in Turkey along with the losses of Princess Diana of England and Mother Theresa of India.  Metaphorically astounding, 2 influential and high profile 'mother' figures died and Turkey is an energetic 'mother' in world history also.  These events broke open millions of hearts simultaneously as the majority of the world set aside hostilities and urbane emotional avoidance to grieve together publicly and support each other as family.  It was huge and with the media broadcasting globally there was no escape, we were all in it together.  The pattern I had seen was still in place.

What I had seen in that little history book was that since the time that science and history say life on earth began, events like these have occurred regularly.  At the time of the biggest tragedies, the 'known world' was affected thereby changing the whole world as the inhabitants of those periods knew the world to be.  It was as if the earth itself was trying to wake people up and, at the time, I had never heard of anything as bizarre as what I was thinking so I kept it largely to myself but I never forgot.  I saw that throughout history, no matter what individual or collective beliefs were held, huge events changed the world anyway, seemingly forcing evolution on people.  

I guess that was when I began to look for patterns and find them.  There is scientific theory, research and quantifiable evidence that states that whatever we believe is real for us IS real for our brains, no matter how preposterous our beliefs may be.   It's our beliefs that tell US who we are and our ego needs us to know so it can hold on to the illusion that we are something tangible in a physical world of billions.  Our ego cannot grasp the idea of there being more to us than what we can experience with our senses.  The only concept the ego has of the Soul is to fear the Soul as some malevolent, mythological entity that should be scorned and avoided at all costs.  In essence, the ego fears the Soul is the bogeyman.

Metaphorically, my external world reflects my internal world and as my heart opened along with the billions of people around the world who experienced a similar phenomenon, my life began to change.  Not only did I begin to emerge from the fog of complete denial and have compassion for others, I also began to feel compassion for myself.  I think my Soul cried out to me to wake up that year but my ego was terrified and with no support, information, safety or self-awareness, I fell into a suicidal mess within months.  And so began my 'Armageddon', my world as I knew it had ended.  The positive in all that for me was that the me that I was before that died into something new and I lost my fear of death.  I was finally able to start living at 28, and that is a whole other story.

At+Onement 

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