Loving even my ego

There is an extremely fine line between judgement and discernment, between scepticism and trust, between certainty and faith.  I feel as if my entire life has been the narrow ledge between.  Times when I stumbled and slipped to one side or another and, like any gymnast or tight rope walker learning to master their craft, times when I fell right off and got covered in dust.  Other times when I nailed it so surely only to slip on my own ego and get carried into over-confidence.  Much as a baby learning to walk, I teetered through life learning and learning some more.  Each step has been an infinitesimal and yet gargantuan action.  Often my steps were re-actions, retracing steps repeatedly to gain the same footing but, each of those had their own vitality and purpose in the grand plan of me too.

For years I drowned in the sleepiness of unconsciously feeling unreal, not understanding that in that moment, unreal was who I was and that was okay too.  Then I spent 12 more years excavating my ego and recognising the strength of it.  I discovered my ego had in fact drawn on every interaction I'd had and compartmentalised every energy I'd felt.  I also discovered that through mastering the art of dissociation, my ego had not yet learned how to integrate this incredible gift of knowledge so I set about learning how.  I learned that for me the only way there, was to love myself: devotedly, faithfully, determinedly and purposefully.  

At first I floundered because I had hated myself for so long and drawn that hate to me from those I loved.  I had developed a very strong and powerful victim ego too and I had no awareness of it at all.  I surrounded myself with others who supported and sustained that as I learned to recognise it for myself and create a new structure for it in self-love.  It was very liberating, empowering and life-changing and I used elements of every healing modality I've ever heard of to bring it all together - to bring myself together.  Last year I fell into place.  I let go of my training bar, loved myself more than ever before and, having learned to trust, took my biggest leap of faith yet.  I knew it was going to hurt.  I knew it was going to burn.  I knew it was going to be lonely and, I knew it was a huge ending, a death of what had been.    My Highest Self warned me up front and I jumped in anyway because it was time, it IS time now.  This is not the first time I've walked that part of the path but it is the first time I've done it consciously and willingly.  I've heard it said that there's no second chances with life but for me there is and in fact, every moment is another chance to create life anew.  Learning to love myself really is the greatest love of all and everything I once thought I knew is now foreign, outdated, nostalgic and redundant.  None of it applies in the same way to this moment and yet it all helped to create this moment.  It is all important and yet it's not either.  Letting go and surrendering is profoundly exhilarating after the fall.  I give thanks today for the strength of my ego that has always led me further, dug deeper, held on and let go.  

I only know one person besides me who has ever had the strength to love my Shadow unconditionally and that's my husband.  It was through his demonstration of love for me that showed me how to love myself, no matter what I uncovered.  I balked at some aspects of myself, hated some, feared some, ignored some, avoided some, and flat out refused to acknowledge other parts of myself at all.  But underneath all that fear, I saw that he loved me no matter how horribly I behaved.  He had healthy boundaries and never accepted any disrespect and I need to see that too because it was totally foreign to me at the time.  He stayed patient, centred, faithful and loving throughout my entire excavation and, then asked me to marry him!! Even after seeing the darkest dark I had, he still loved me the same.  I have learned so much from him and from life itself.

I forgive myself for judging my ego through lack of understanding and I accept you ego  as my dearest ally beloved.  It is you who led me home to my Self, to my Soul, to my Divinity.  Whatever has gone before and whatever will come, there is no greater gift than integrating the Self and loving all that is.  Life is the greatest gift I can imagine.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

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Super Moon gifts

The upcoming super moon tomorrow (Australia) is such a bringer of joy for me.  I don't count the reflections and aha's as they arise, I simply acknowledge, learn and then release the energy it brings and keep going.  This moon has upped the tempo somewhat and although I would have once despaired, I'm not that person anymore.  My joy is born simply from the fact that I can recognise triggers as treasures, at the time they break through my awareness.  Describing the joy of it is almost impossible but for me it's like listening to crickets and frogs performing their nightly orchestral serenade in my garden; It's like waking up to the twittering cacophony of birdsong in the trees; it's like making love with my beloved husband; it's like hugging my children and it's like dancing barefoot in the grass.  

I have believed for a long time now that trauma being triggered within me is a gift that heals my brain but this level of healing, joy, gratitude and acceptance that I now experience was unexpected and I'm so glad I hung in there through it all.  I'm so glad I persevered and loved myself enough to not give up on me.  I'm so glad I chose to trust God in this even though it tore my heart out and broke me in half for a while.  I'm so glad I've done all the work I have in order to really find the core of who I am, and I am eternally grateful for my wonderful, patient and understanding husband who never stopped supporting me in a million ways all along.  My life today is so different from how it started and now I can finally see how it has all been for my own highest good.  It's still sinking in and it's not something I hear or see anywhere outside me, it's my own Inner knowing expanding me in exactly the way I always prayed I could grow.  

I once prayed to God to please open my mind, my eyes, my ears and my heart and to never let them close.  I remember the first time I prayed for that and much has happened since that at the time, I considered traumatic but not anymore.  I repeat that prayer more consciously now - often.  I have promised myself that I will never go back to sleep, no matter what.  I like being awake to Love, Light and Truth and my perception changes almost every moment now.  Surprisingly to me, it's no longer dizzying, nor does it feel chaotic for change to be the dominant factor in each moment.  It actually feels normal and natural now, like creation itself is happy to unfold inside me and I'm happy to move with it.

With the moon being the closest to the earth that it has been in 68 years, emotional tides will ebb and flow and this has been like a king tide.  Waves of energy make their way to my shores, washing over the gritty beaches within and drawing back again anything too large or too pressing to break over the surface gently.  Like a patrolling lifesaver, I keep my keen eye out for any distress signals and only intervene when absolutely necessary.  I know now that loving myself is life-saving and I'm finding joy in it.  I'm finding joy in just simply being alive and that is the gift I call the 'present' now.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

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#weareallinthistogether #om #aum

Now

Past and future are merely reflections of now.  Yesterday and tomorrow have served a positive purpose that may have taken lifetimes to recognise and even longer to accept and embrace.  For me now there is only ever one moment, this moment.  This moment keeps repeating on auto play like a divine Groundhog Day and my ability to perceive it as such is changing as much as I am.  Having recognised this has made a gift of history and I'm finding joy in allowing the once trapped energy of my past to arise within me and release without hindrance or overwhelm.  Like the airborne creatures of the earth herself, these energies have now taken flight as they were originally designed to do and can make their way out of me and back to the Light.  On wings of love, peace, forgiveness and grace, each has their own gold, frankincense and myrrh for the liberation of the innocent infant within me.  All of the elements are working together to create perfect balance within and as each 'flock' takes flight, I receive another chance to practice patience, mindfulness, joy, delight and gratitude for every single experience that this moment reflects.  

Where once I would have feared these and caged them in the dark, I now lift my arms wide, throwing my head back to breathe love in and out and offer the up with delight.  Attaching to emotions is no longer the primary instinctual first call for my ego as it is now grasping the unconscious truth of simply being and feeling comfortable and safe with my I AM self.  Rather, as the energy flutters up from my roots, I draw on the previous experiences that were signposts of the need to release and observe them all as they proceed up and out.  Decades of now's that  I once found distressing, destructive and completely dissociated from, I now greet as friends for high tea.  They know they're welcome to come in but they're no longer residents, no longer boarding within these rooms indefinitely.  Any lingered are lovingly coaxed out of hiding and nurtured along their way.  This spring-clean is overdue and life-affirming in glorious ways.

After 12 years of learning to identify with emotions and thoughts to create a semblance of any identity, it's bliss to now allow all of life to flow as me, through me instead, in integrated no-thing-ness.  Over a decade of allowing thoughts and emotions to rule just so I could discover who this I AM really is.  I'm sure we all have to discover our own way in our own time and I feel grateful for what my 'now' is teaching me using my past and my future as angelic guides.  This dream called life is clearer for me now and it grows more amazing with each breath.  In this moment I AM breath, Light exists in me, as me and I need nothing more.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

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#weareallinthistogether #om #aum

Out of hell

I lived in hell for decades, every moment I experienced was terrifying to me and I rejected life because I couldn't see past that terror inside.  As I adapted to life in hell, it would all change and I'd be back in the chaos of the unknown and incomprehensible.  Day after day, week after week, year after year, decade after decade I tumbled, fell and rose up again.  Each time I got back up I was just a little wiser, stronger and more loving, more aware and mindful.  Quite a few times hell slammed me back upon myself so hard that I lay in a crumpled heap inside myself begging for mercy, pleading to die and end the agony.

Today I'm grateful for that hell.  Today I see how I created it, how even those prayers created it.  I didn't understand then that my pleas to die were heard metaphorically.  I died and died and died and died and then I died all over again.  As a spiritual 'child', I had the idea that the only way to die was if my body stopped functioning.  With the awareness I have now I recognise death in every moment, every new realisation, for death is never going to be about my body.  My body has died repeatedly already but 'I' have not, so death will not come as my body.  My ego however, my 'I', the 'me' that I THINK myself to be, that does die over and over again within every moment, just as its reborn every moment too.  Each moment is a complete lifetime in itself and I am the creator of it as well as the observer, the star, the choreographer, director, producer, chorus, projector, reflector and more.  My 'I' and my 'I AM' self are one but not, separate but united and beautifully balanced within and without.  When I lived in hell I had no perception of that whatsoever.  My own darkness prevented the Light from illuminating my own truth.  My own choice to protect my heart from pain, shut off the eternal flow of Love that has always been present.  Each choice I made, conscious or unconscious, either lifted me out of the darkness or slammed me back against the wall again.  

For decades I hated that hell and everything in it, I hated myself even more.  It was easy to blame hell for my pain while I was burning in the flames.  It was easy to look out and judge others with the righteous certainty I perceived of my own complete innocence.  Once I began to parent the child 'me' though, I found the courage to get back up again and face that fire.  With time, love, determination and will, I chose to pour myself into that fire again and walk through those flames to the coals at its centre, at my centre.  I walked in those coals and stood burning, I sat there, I wrote there, I felt there, I slept there, and I lived there, I even made love in those coals and I took my power back.  I showed myself the heaven of hell and I proved to myself that my perception of hell was as much an illusion as my perception of fear was.

Love/Light is the only Truth for me and all things come from Love/Light.  When I believed in my fear, I blamed hell for what I experienced because I was not ready to accept pain as a teacher or a friend.  I was not ready to love pain too and now I am.  I'm not looking for pain, I'm not inviting it in, I'm not asking for pain of any kind, I've just made peace with it and I respect it's Grace.  I have been chaperoned by pain in many disguises throughout most of this lifetime and it, above all else has taught me humility, love, forgiveness, awareness, mindfulness, truth, responsibility, gratitude, and even joy.  I parented myself with pain when I knew no better and now I can take the reigns back to re-parent with love.  I no longer fear nor need to fear, my shadow reflected back to me in others because I accept my shadow completely and all other aspects of myself as well, with unconditional positive love and regard.  

As the darkness arises, I see it for what I believe it to be - the absence of Light and I raise myself up again to stand at the coal face, filled with Love, Light and Peace.  I stand sure, ready and determined to send out Love and Light to all of creation and beyond as others learn now what I myself have learned.  May all beings be happy and free.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

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#weareallinthistogether #om #aum

May God Bless America

May God bless America and all the rest of us too.  Weeks ago I wrote about how I believe Donald Trump is merely a mirror for the ‘Shadow’ in us all right now.  I don’t believe that Mr Trump is any less a child of God than I am, nor is anybody else.  I do believe that were I to judge him so, I would be saying more about myself than him.  While the emotions are running high today, I truly hope that those who see this election result as a tragedy will come to see it differently in time.  Even if not possible, perhaps we the people of this world can begin to see the metaphorical realities amongst these events and use them to work more on embracing our own ‘shadow’ selves.  I lived many years believing that I had no ‘shadow’ and everyone else was at fault for my perception of the world.  I told myself that others were to blame for how I felt and yet, I know now that I was wrong.  It has taken over a decade of intense inner work and owning the brutal truth arising from that exploration and excavation of my own beliefs and values to wake me up to the beauty that really fills and surrounds me in this world.  

Metaphorically, I am unsurprised that Mr Trump has won this election because although the Divine Mother is closer to being embraced than She has been for a very long time, many are yet unready to surrender to the feminine energy that She brings.  As a reflection of the country they represent both Hilary and Donald are very translucent to me as the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine.  Even with the ideologies they each have that have polarized the planet for so long, each also has a balanced energy that resembles the homeostasis of our own bodies if we are able to view them dispassionately.  I doubt that is possible for many just yet but one day, perhaps not in the too far distant future, the world will recognise what has just happened for what it may truly be – the Divine Play unfolding around us as it is unfolding within us.  Whatever faults we may perceive in Donald Trump OR Hilary Clinton, they have raised the consciousness of the masses in a way nothing else has since 2001 and that is very definitely something that needed to happen.  We are awakening and the challenge now is to awaken to Love if we can, to fill our own hearts with Love and shine it out onto the world.  We’re all capable of it, as evidenced during natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina; at the worldwide funerals of Princess Diana, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa; and the utter devastation of 9/11.  

Is it really time to own and embrace our own shadows, to stop projecting them onto the world and hating the world or despairing for what we see reflected back to us?  For me it is.  I have been working to do that for myself and I knew this day was coming.  Perhaps the ‘shadow’ will loom much larger yet before the world awakens properly and wipes the sleep from it’s eyes.  Perhaps the world will sleep a little longer and call on a bigger, more obvious ‘shadow’ to appear before we see it as it is.  I hope this day is the day.  I pray today that Love and Light fills us all and opens our eyes, ears, hearts and minds to the possibilities that may present because a democratic majority chose to love themselves more than ever before and choose to create change.  For myself, I refuse to fall into judgment, hatred, fear or anything unloving as I aim to hold the energy of real Unconditional Love in my world with all that I am.  Regardless of the beliefs, values, perceptions or opinions that I have, I do congratulate everyone in the USA today for the courage, honour, integrity and hope that this result demonstrates you have.  Regardless of what I think or write – you have stood proudly for what your heart tells you is important and that is the place everyone in a democracy votes from – our hearts.  Hold your head high America and look within for the answers you now seek, for you will find those answers also in your big, brave hearts.  

May God bless America, and may Lady Liberty shine bright.

Remembering Unity

lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu

#2016election #rememberingunity #loveandlight #mirrorsandshadows #lovingtheshadow

Healing

I'm becoming more amazed by my body and the incredible vehicle it is every day.  I'm also finding more and more depth and simplicity in healing than I had previously known.  Learning to love and accept myself as I am has supported so much growth.  Yesterday I got a cluster headache while visiting a friend and while I was held in the moment with awareness of pain, I did not 'suffer'.  I was able to stay present, mindful and open for the first time ever.  I saw many more layers of that onion revealed to me and, on the drive home afterwards, I saw the positives in getting that cluster right then too.  I have been aware this past 4 weeks of a difference in this cycle of clusters.  They are originating from my spine and I can feel it.  Historically there were so many factors feeding in to the pain that I was simply overwhelmed and terrified of the sheer agony of it all.  This time though, it's very clear to me that it's just energy releasing from my body.  Considering how painful it is, I'm grateful to my body for releasing it even if it does hurt like hell.  At least it's releasing!

Driving home I allowed my mind to explore what energy was actually sitting in the pain and it was 'shame'.  Acknowledging this shone a light on why I got a cluster while out with a friend - I've always felt ashamed and guilty over my suffering before.  I used to blame myself for it and so isolate myself during suffering and try to tell myself to get over it and not allow anyone else to be affected by it.  It was of course impossible but I didn't know that then.  Yesterday I saw that energy of shame in my minds eye, sitting forlornly in the middle of my spine and I allowed it to coalesce and move up and out of my body as I breathed it all out.  I cried for a moment with sadness and relief and then did some ho'oponopono to myself to soothe and seal the love inside.  Upon doing this, my heart opened more and I saw how the old way I had learned to process emotion no longer serves me or my Inner Child.

I had previously learned, with huge healing and success, to go back to the first time I felt a feeling to release the emotion trapped in my body and, for a time it worked fabulously.  I was able to feed my ego by blaming my birth family and perpetrators for the emotions I have today.  Yesterday my Inner Child revealed to me that ego was happy with that method because it was 'blaming' but my Soul will no longer support that model.  It felt to the Child like being the pawn between divorcing parents and it doesn't feel loving or real to make the child blame anyone to get my approval.  There is NOone to blame for my feelings and, ALL feelings have something positive to acknowledge so what possible reason could there be for blame?  If anything, the events of my past have been helpful to my soul and so I'm now grateful for each of those experiences.  I got to really explore it when I then heard that someone I once deeply respected has been gossiping about me in a quite hurtful and public way lately and for a nanosecond I fell into taking it personally.  It happened just after the cluster stopped and I feel proud that although I felt hurt, I saw almost immediately that their behaviour tells the world who that person is, not who I am.  It also told me that I am that in some way so I explored that too and after acknowledging it, owning it and accepting it, I loved me as that and surrendered any guilt and shame while I was at it.  Then I prayed for the other person.  During the next few hours, my mind tried to pull it up again and draw me in so I just kept repeating the steps each time and the energy has just really shifted which feels so validating.

I'm sure this cycle of cluster headaches I'm having, the first in three years, are a positive attempt by my body to raise and release the trapped energy out of my body and, each day the energy is sitting somewhere else.  It started in the base of my spine 4 weeks ago and  is now up to my sinus so there's been huge progress and today I'm just allowing my body, mind and spirit to relax.  I feel so empowered over my new ability to heal at the deepest level I can imagine and I love the loving person I know myself to be.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #followforfollow #awakening #light #selflove #raiseyourvibration #unity #spiritualgrowth #soul #gratitude #love  #mythoughts   #energy #livinglife #positivevibes #peaceonearth #remembering #worklifemyway #beingreal #beingtrue #ॐॐॐ

#weareallinthistogether #om #aum

The Joy of Dissociation

I've spent many years now feeling sad, angry, afraid and resentful about the trauma and abuse I experienced throughout my life.  One thing that I've been embracing about it all though for the past ten years is that it gave me the gift of dissociation.  While I never saw dissociation as any kind of gift for the first few decades, I've come to feel really grateful for the ability.  In the past year in particular, I've been able to recognise how imperative dissociation has been for me to grow into the person I believe I am at my core.

'Grounding' is vital for a happy, safe, fulfilled and balanced life.  I was once so dissociated on so many levels that 'grounding' physically hurt me.  Something told me to persevere anyway so I explored dozens of different ways and each one got me closer to my goal - staying grounded.  I'm at a point now where even though it's really painful, movement is the most important grounding tool for me.  Whether it be dancing, swimming, walking, hula hooping, golf, vacuuming, sweeping, stretching or even sex, I have to move my body to feel fully alive.  For most of my life I froze every time a thought created emotion in my body.  Freeze is dissociation - switching off some part of myself in order to not fully experience whatever the experience is.  In learning ways to love, understand and support my nervous system balancing itself out, there is less need for it to throw the freeze switch so I do not dissociate to the level I used to.

The positive is that 'freeze' is also where I found my idea of God, the purest, most loving, unconditional and peaceful part of my existence.  I had not realised before that there must be a duality to 'freeze'.  I learned long ago that everything has an opposite.  Living with dissociation and trying to overcome it, it had not occurred to me to fully explore what the real positives might be.  I did discover that I had power, that I could in fact dissociate at will and it didn't just happen against my will like I once thought it did.  Once I recognised this I trialled it and had some fun with it even.  Over time I came to accept that it wasn't all bad but now, today, now I'm amazed at what a gift it is.  When I meditate, pray or connect with nature, I need to be able to be grounded AND be able to dissociate.  If I cannot do both, I do not soar to the same heights.  My heart does not fill with the same amount of love and peace.

I'm not perfect and I no longer feel like I need to be.  I'm just me living my life my own way and loving whatever I can.  Now though, I can appreciate even more about myself so I appreciate life more too.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #followforfollow #awakening #light #selflove #raiseyourvibration #unity #spiritualgrowth #soul #gratitude #love  #mythoughts   #energy #livinglife #positivevibes #peaceonearth #remembering #worklifemyway #beingreal #beingtrue #ॐॐॐ

#weareallinthistogether #om #aum

It's Time

As much as it breaks my heart to see all of the turmoil in the world, my heart is singing.  Around the globe, indigenous peoples are moving into place.  On every continent they travel to gather.  Like me, many have simply been displaced by one thing or another.  Like me, many learned to blame society for the trauma and suffering.  Like me they are waking up to Divine truth, to the healing energies of the Earth herself who draws us all in close.  It's time Her children came close again to the Light, time to be held in Her loving embrace so Her tears can fall on the tops of our heads as we raise Her back up to Her rightful place in the Fathers arms.

Humanity has navigated through the evolutionary stages of the instinctual/reptilian brain, the emotional/mammalian brain and the cognitive/neo mammalian brain.  Now as the knowledge of the brain increases exponentially, it's time our brains developed further.  With our ancestral custodians pulling together like the amazing neurons in our own brains, we can choose to integrate or dissociate.  Cognitive dissonance will see many reject this balance, this homeostasis of humanity but, it WILL happen, it IS happening.  The time of the Rainbow Warrior has come and we will arrive in Light, Love and Peace.

The Mother rises to greet the Father and together they will hold is, their Divine children close and safe as the Sun and the Moon dance around us in harmony.  Batten down the hatches, learn to breathe, find your joy, and focus on love in your life - it's time to wake up from the dream.

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #followforfollow #awakening #light #selflove #raiseyourvibration #unity #spiritualgrowth #soul #gratitude #love  #mythoughts   #energy #livinglife #positivevibes #peaceonearth #remembering #worklifemyway #beingreal #beingtrue #ॐॐॐ

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I AM

As I heal myself I become more aware of everything I'm not and everything I am.  I AM not fear, I AM Love.  For years I was a conspiracy theorist, full of fears, egoistic 'certaintanties' that the whole world was being held captive in a dream outside our own control.  Now that I've awoken myself, I see a much different reflection in this amazing and incredible world.  Now that I believe in the power of unconditional love and can accept myself as I am, I can accept everything else the same way too.  I was reflecting this morning on the journey I've had to learn to acknowledge, recognise, respect and stop abusing my Inner Child.  It was only 12 years ago that I first heard of the concept of the Inner Child and I was very confused by it.  I remember the cognitive dissonance that I entered into over that and how I initially made my peace with it - I accepted that I had a "Self" and that Self was an infant who needed love as much as any other child.  It would be another two years of daily counselling before I realised the only person who could give my Self that love was me.

I began learning how to parent myself and how to be more loving to me.  The fabulous flow-on from that was being able to be more loving to others and having that reflected back too, my whole world changed.  Where I had primarily been surrounded by reflections of abuse and horror, I now became surrounded by reflections of caring and support.  It was a tremendous next decade as I volunteered and worked to support others and teach others how to support themselves in parenting themselves too.  I thrived, excelled, and I soared.  I came to know, acknowledge and accept every infinitesimal atom of myself that I discovered and, I learned to be patient and accept life as it is.

Learning to love myself helped me to release the need that my ego has to fear everything.  I once feared all people without even giving them a chance.  Not now, now I see the love at the core of each person, including me.  Now I see that every person, experience, place and thing has its own purpose for being.  Now I see that the politicians have their life purpose just as I do and they too are love at their core, doing the best they know how, serving humanity simply by being themselves.  Now I see events unfold as lessons not labours and I can choose pain or bliss by my thoughts.  Now I see disasters reflecting humanity back to itself in necessary ways.  Now I see I AM one with all and Light is all there really is and there ever has been.

I've spent months doubting this new awareness, doubting myself, curled up in freeze most days while my soul and my ego waltz around in my consciousness learning to to and fro.  It's been scary and amazing and there's still a few steps to inculcate but mostly, I'm now up to the Cha Cha and the samba.  The music is coming back to me in ways I've always trusted, I don't know who I AM is yet but I know who I AM is enough and I'm okay.  I know there is no big conspiracy unless it's meant to be and I know that I believe in Unity so I'm finding my true joy.  I hope you have as good a day as I'm having.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1125891117486921:0

RememberingUnity

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #followforfollow #awakening #light #selflove #raiseyourvibration #unity #spiritualgrowth #soul #gratitude #love  #mythoughts   #energy #livinglife #positivevibes #peaceonearth #remembering #worklifemyway #beingreal #beingtrue #ॐॐॐ

#weareallinthistogether #om #aum

Getting Moving

The past 4 years have been THE most incredible, amazing, miraculous, heartbreaking, disastrous, beneficial, shattering, blissful, painful, astounding years of my life.  I got the job of my dreams and moved over 200kms to say yes, putting my beloved relationship right on the line to do it; once in he role I got the biggest, scariest, tumultuous and thrilling initiation I could never have imagined - a real trial by fire; I got 4 gorgeous grandkids, 1 of which chose not to incarnate after all; my partner faced ruin; I was named as a finalist for a prestigious award; I presented at my first conference; we designed and built our own tiny home, with our own hands, in 2 weeks, for less than $35,000; I designed and created my own toilets and a huge chakra garden completely off the top of my head; I stopped smoking after 32 years; we got married last year in the middle of a vocational disaster where my dream lay shattered; I got my very own reborn baby doll; I came completely off antidepressants after taking them for over two decades; I adopted a plant-based, unsweetened diet at the beginning of this year aaaaaand, to top it all off, we gave up our tiny home to the Universe and are going to move over 1000kms south next year to start our own businesses together; I joined Shanti Mission and the Peace Angels; I fully healed major physical disabilities in my body through listening to my Highest Self and my Inner Child; I have found profound gratitude within me for every moment of my life; and I have learned to love myself unconditionally.  I miss my life and my friends terribly most days but I trust Gods plan for me to begin again too.

This morning I felt very strongly that it's time I get moving again.  Being 1/11, it's a day for new life and I've been praying for motivation to get moving while at the same time respecting my need not to.  Patience has been high on my list of lessons for most of my life and I'm committed to cutting myself some slack on a lot of things after spending 4 1/2 decades cracking a whip over my own head with a fury.  I firmly believe that everything happens in its own time for its own reason and when I saw 'patience' arising for me again, I at first rejected the idea.  I've learned that rejection is only cognitive dissonance and that quick rejection like that is mostly avoidance so, I looked more closely and found that indeed yes, I was overlooking the obvious and now I'm not.

I called a local gym that is offering 7 days free trial membership and in I went.  There's no lock-in contracts and it has everything I need and can realistically use for the next 3-6 months until I move.  It's quite inexpensive and my gorgeous husband is supportive all the way.  I spent an hour there this morning and enjoyed it immensely.  As I told my husband, I'm virtually ready to sell my car to afford this so that's a sign to me that this is the right time.  I have incredible determination and I know that once I choose, nothing ever, ever gets in my way.  I am feeling really excited and grateful right now, albeit a little tired.  Thank you body for your patience, resilience, durability and existence.  I love you.  Let's get physical.

https://www.facebook.com/RememberingUnity/posts/1124768487599184:0

RememberingUnity

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ॐ ॐ ॐॐ ॐ ॐ

lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu

#innerchild #mindfulness #life #inspiration #healing #followforfollow #awakening #light #selflove #raiseyourvibration #unity #spiritualgrowth #soul #gratitude #love  #mythoughts   #energy #livinglife #positivevibes #peaceonearth #remembering #worklifemyway #beingreal #beingtrue #ॐॐॐ

#weareallinthistogether #om #aum