Learning from fear

I'm learning that my fears exist purely to show me mySelf in other people and things.  For example: if I fear that others are afraid of my anger, that fear is to show me that I myself feel afraid of my anger.  Once I take responsibility for my core fear, I will then also begin to open up to see how that impacts on various ways in my life.  It may be that I feel afraid of anger itself and can look at why and how I can learn about ways to positively use anger (creativity, drive, passion, stamina, etc).

Another example is blaming.  If I fear I will be blamed, that is showing me that I myself blame.  Usually it's easier to see outside of ourselves (the world we ARE conscious of) than to see ourselves (what we are generally NOT conscious of).  I know for me, I felt terrified for years of being blamed for everything and over time I came to see that I was the biggest blamer, then I realised that the blame all started and originated from me.  I blamed me.  Because unconsciously I blamed me and wasn't ready to be aware of it, blame was reflecting back to me from others and this fear built up around it as energy to wake me up to it.  It took me a long time to wake up and so the fear energy grew and grew.  Over time I did become aware of my blaming and worked on releasing the energy around the fear and looking at all the different ways I blamed on different levels in different situations.  I healed my fear on many levels but, my Soul knew that deep inside I still blamed mySelf.  I still feared mySelf.  I was still angry at mySelf and so the lessons kept presenting until I HAD to see.  

I learned long ago that the 'dark night of the Soul', 'the black dog', darkness, depression, anxiety, fear, whatever it gets called, is a crucible.  When that darkness first begins to descend around me, I begin to fight.  I begin to struggle, o begin to search for the Light instead.  I've learned that unless I surrender and thank the darkness for the change it is bringing to me, for the opportunity to embrace my own Shadow and love it unconditionally, that darkness will persist.

I learned many years ago to not only surrender but to welcome and embrace my dark night because it only has power when I struggle.  It's only power is through the energy of my own fear and I know that my fear is simply a guide to show me what I need to see on mySelf so, in I go with glee.  In the darkest of that darkness I always find the Light and when I focus on that, the darkness ceases to exist at all.

#love #light #innerchild #soul #angels #mindfulness #gratitude #healing #trauma #depression