Boundaries

Boundaries are so important and I've learned so much about them and from them.  I am now coming to see though, that like everything else, they have a time and serve a purpose but they too are temporary.

There came a point for me when boundaries actually became maladaptive just like anything can - and that was when I acknowledged that I was trying to use boundaries as a shield to protect separateness.  

As children, I do believe it's incredibly important that we learn boundaries.  Boundaries are how we can learn to respect ourselves and others, to keep ourselves safe and to accept and accede responsibility.  We learn that boundaries are vital in relationship and are not healthy if they are not flexible.  I've come to learn that once my own boundaries became healthy and secure on every level, the need to assert them began to fall away.  That's not to say that I have no boundaries because I do, they're just a lot broader and more flexible now.  My boundaries are now firm, flexible, loving and inclusive.  I have recognised how I once used boundaries as a way to avoid acknowledging my own unconscious need for control, born out of me fear of losing myself in At+onement.  

I spent a long time living in fear and wanting everybody else to shrink so I wouldn't feel so afraid. Healthy boundaries have taught me that no one else can make me feel anything, only I can control my feelings.  I used to really blame others for the fear I felt, for the experiences I had.  Now that in connected to my soul I see everything with much more love and responsibility and I now honestly hope that no one ever shrinks around me for any reason, and I am committed to learning how to stop trying to shrink too.  Already, many of the people I love feel afraid of my Light and I pray they find their way back to love in their own time as I know their reactions are normal, just as my own reactions were.

I accept now that my soul needs boundaries to learn from in love and my ego needs to learn at the same time.  My ego though only learns through fears until I can love it and teach it from my soul.  My ego then will use boundaries for a time as another way to try to control the world I perceive so I can feel safe in it.  This is normal but, like any stage of development, has a beginning, an end, and a sequel.

May we all learn to grow into At+onement in our own time, at our own pace and, may we accept each other's own unique style, flavor, purpose and light.

Blessings

xxjxx