Body

I began consciously wanting to love my body at the end of 2014.  By then I had spent 45 years hating it and wanting to escape from it.  I saw my body as a torture chamber, a prison, ensnaring my mind and my spirit.  I saw my body as some abuser to be a victim of and so I felt powerless to choose.  My body was wracked with constant and incredible pain for so much of my life that I had resigned myself to believing I was actually born to suffer.  Oh how I've grown.

I chose to make 2015 the year I learned to love my body and make peace with it.  I now forgive my body for the pain as I choose to believe it was trying to reach out in the only way it knew how to tell me to wake up.  I have been delicately incorporating more movement into my life in an effort to learn to listen better to my body, to trust my body's wisdom and feel At+Onement with my own body, the Temple of my Soul.  My body is rewarding me with improved health and performance.

I don't think I've ever managed to feel grateful to my body before this year.  My body has been through so much:  assault, rape, beatings, torture, anesthesia, surgeries, death, cancer, loss of control and function, immobility, agony, cluster headaches, lack of oxygen, sympathetic nervous system exhaustion, adrenal exhaustion, fevers, broken bones, accidents, electrocution, strangulation, burns, bruises, mutilations, self harm, numbness, emotion, joy, bliss, dissociation, transcendence, dehydration, mumps, thyrotoxicosis, rage, depression, anxiety, peace, orgasm, weightlessness, obesity and much much more.  

In noting all that I now feel even more grateful to my body!  How on earth does one body survive so much and even then go on to heal in miraculous ways?  How amazing my body is to a) be so ingenious as to be a warning system to wake me up and b) to be able to overcome devastating and sometimes debilitating experiences and still strive for optimum health and vitality.

I love, accept, trust and appreciate my body exactly as it is right now.  I'm sorry body, please forgive me and thank you, I love you.  I forgive my body for the pain I have had and accept that I and my body were doing the best we knew how to at the time.  I forgive me for hating my body so passionately that I tried to destroy it and stay as separate from it as possible.  I have learned from every moment of it and I appreciate the patience of my body as I have learned my way to it.  Thank you body, you're amazing and I love you.

June Parkin