I have often wondered what it might be like to have my life flash before my eyes and now, metaphorically at least, it has.  Not in a chain of seconds or minutes joined by time but in moments stretched out over years, mere seconds over the span of eternity.  Within the context of an aeon, a single human lifetime IS mere seconds.

Over the past 12 years, all of the preceding moments of my life have paraded before me again as memories to be acknowledged, emotionally attached to, let go and forgiven. Many times memories of the same moment came through so it could be viewed from a different perspective.  As I changed and became more positive and loving, so too did my perception of the memory change.  Over the past 9 months, this process has sped up exponentially as I have finally reached the peak of my perceptual goal-embracing full forgiveness of myself and all others.  I now recognise that anyone else whom I cannot forgive and love is simply reflecting to me an aspect of myself that I was previously unable to love or accept.  Today I have once again stunned myself by recognising another of these gifts-that I was believing I was unworthy of forgiveness by others.  I held this belief because there was still some part of me that could not forgive myself.  I've gone straight in and sorted that and as I did my heart clamped tight like it was in a vice and then, let go.  Tears replaced the pressure and flowed unabashedly to relieve the decades old tension that had reached its use by date and was begging for release.

Memories of old tragedies, atrocities and abuse are neither pleasant nor easy to face and I honour everyone who does.  While they can take a horrible toll, the price can be much higher when those same memories are ignored or avoided (even by forgetting).  I've learned now that the memories are there to help.  If we want happiness and joy, we need to release whatever pain we've learned to trap inside ourselves and that pain can be transmuted into bliss if we just keep moving forward with an open heart and mind.  With even a small spark of self love, we can all do whatever it is that our Soul needs from us.  

I can't begin to describe the amazing transformation happening within me now as the memories surface for what feels like the very last time. I've learned all I can from them now and feel no pain or malice within them anymore.  I'm sure there will be more but I'm also sure the hardest part is over and I'm loving the ability to feel the miracle of life every day within my being.

Onwards and upwards

June Parkin