I thought it through very carefully, what I really needed God's help with. I considered what it might mean. I even thought for a moment that maybe I was mad. I did not for one moment, think it would be easy. I was sure it would be really hard and really painful. I felt scared. I also felt sure.
I am living my life to BE love. I feel scared a lot and fear does not feed my soul. My soul does not know or even recognise fear. I believe fear is simply a human illusion perpetuated to control, but it's not real. Danger is real but not fear. Fear is what I feel when I'm not feeling love.
I don't know what other souls want or need. I don't know what other people want or need (unless they honestly share it with me). I will not read minds or make assumptions. I will patiently wait while others work things out for themselves and I will stand strong beside them when they ask. I will not disempower anyone by reading their mind because to me that is violating their emotional, psychological and spiritual boundaries. That is not who I am. That is not who I want to be.
I want and choose to BE love. I want and need to breathe love, see love, feel love, hear love, think love and live love. I do not want to pretend it, I want to be real. I am not out to impress anyone, hurt anyone, fool anyone or let anyone down. My purpose is simple and clear and it is enough for me.
I love supporting people-listening and walking alongside. I do not do it FOR anyone else but dearly love to do it WITH them. Sadly many people seem to want me to be what they want me to be and do not see me but merely their perception of me and I feel truly sad about that but still I will not pretend to be something I'm not. I will feel that sadness, pain, grief and fear and I will shine ever brighter because I am sure of love, sure of God and sure of my own purpose. Loving all others is my commitment to myself and to others. I used to think love was about being kind but I've grown up since then and I think love is about being real, genuine, honest. I wish I were better at it and I know I have quite a way to go but my intention is set. I appreciate more now the people who are unkind (when they are honest and not abusive) as they help me grow as much as kind people do.
Letting go of my attachment to being right is one of the most serious and difficult things I've ever committed to. I want truth in my ears, love in my eyes, passion in my heart and strength in my mind. I want to serve with humility and compassion and needing to be right will stand in my way so I'm letting go of that attachment to free myself and realise my dream. I will let go of most of what I have soon so I am unencumbered by 'things' too. I want to commit to making things simple for myself again. I have realised over the last little while how tired I am of chaos. I gave up drama years ago and am still stunned at times how much drama there is in the world. I don't want that anymore.
Love is what I need and want and I want that attachment to be rock solid and unshakeable.
Love, love, love
All I need is love
xxjxx
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