Approval

As I reflect I realise that for all of my life I have been seeking approval, from my parents, partners, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, children, teachers, acquaintances, friends, strangers -approval. I longed for it, fought for it, cried for it, pined for it -approval.  I was 38 years old before I got approval from myself, before I finally gave me approval and yet I still have been seeking it from others.  

I'm realising ever so slowly that it is a futile search and a disempowering one too.  It is not fair to me nor to anyone I'm seeking approval from.  The way that I choose to feel is my responsibility and no one else's.  I now realise that when I expect others to approve of me, I'm unconsciously asking them to judge me.

I wish I'd seen this before now.  I'm sure I was not ready before now to see it though and now that I do, I want to change it.  I forgive myself and I'm glad I see this now.  Letting go of my attachment to approval is so liberating and empowering.

Life is not a personality contest.  It is not about approval.  Other people owe me nothing nor do I owe anyone else.  Today I take more responsibility for me and give everyone else the same grace.

May the need for approval rest in peace, I've got happy living to do.

xxjxx