Someone pointed something out to me yesterday and my first instinct was to disagree, push away, resist it. Almost immediately I realised that this is what I want. I want to have things pointed out to me to help me become more aware, more conscious of myself. I appreciate having those things pointed out. I know now that when I don't appreciate having those things pointed out, I will need to learn them the hard way. I also know that when I immediately reject something, it's because it has presented itself to me, it hooks into me, (because it's a reflection of what I have not yet acknowledged, accepted and learned to love about myself) and immediately cognitive dissonance takes over - my brain immediately tries to find validation for my rejection, that way my ego won't have to feel powerless and can blame the mirror for the terror instead.  I believe that life is made up of a billion moments such as this and each of us struggle or succeed in our own way. I'm also grateful for the lesson that I've had around passive aggressive behaviour. I have long disliked passive aggressive behaviour, and I often wondered what that reflected for me, because I wasn't able to see it in myself or except it in myself. Through someone honestly telling me that that is what my behaviour was like, I was able to see immediately a) why they could see it in me, and b) why I haven't been ready to see it in myself.

For some reason I had not yet recognised that avoiding someone when I don't know what to say to them is a form of passive aggressive behaviour. Really it's the silent treatment, I won't talk to you, I won't be honest with you, I won't open up to you because I don't know what to do, therefore I will leave you to suffer from my silence in your silence.  Believing that the people in the world are mirrors or reflections doesn't make life easier. But then, maybe it does,

I said thank you a lot yesterday for new awakenings and my ego didn't like that but I did. It made my Soul feel good and that's what matters to me, not illusions of ego.  - June Parkin 2015