C'mon now

Learning to speak to myself lovingly has been difficult because I had to learn from scratch in my 40's.  For most of my life, I was spoken to with criticism, disdain, contempt and negativity.  The people in my life did not know any better themselves, nor did they have any concept of self-love, therefore they could not teach me.  I do not harbour any thoughts of blame towards them any more.  I feel sad that so many people have so little knowledge or experience of self-love.  In this fear-infused culture, it is difficult to grasp self-love with so many messages of how selfish it is to love ourselves.  How can we hope to love others, for others to love us, if we cannot love ourselves?

Self-love has nothing to do with being selfish.  If I can love myself, I automatically, unconsciously give those around me permission to love themselves and to love me.  If I love myself, I will show people by example, how to treat me with love.  I will 'command' respect and not then need to 'demand' it.  I will know within myself that what other people think of me is there business and I will not let it bother me.  I will see myself as worthy and deserving.  I will give out and receive love with a full heart.  I will be healthy and happy and free.

I am committed to loving myself fully, deeply and unconditionally.  To seek within myself that which my Creator has made me to be.  To look past the imperfections I have perceived myself to have and find the unique and soulful person that I really am at the core of my being.  To embrace who I am and let go of the need to be anything more.  To speak kindly and honestly to myself, and to revel in being me as I am, giving and receiving in love in balance.

Learning to speak to myself lovingly has been difficult and I'm still learning.  I'm much better at it now.  One book that has been very helpful is "Growing Up Again" by Jean Ilsley Clark and Connie Dawson.  It not only has great, loving affirmations, it also has information on re-parenting which helped me to understand myself at different ages and stages so I can become a happier, more well-adjusted self now. I don't need anyone else to give me a happy childhood and I have not missed out, I just waited until I can really enjoy and appreciate childhood :-)

I can now love me, I hope everyone finds this joy for themselves too.

xxjxx