Judging others is too easy. I have judged others my entire life and always managed to create reasons to judge - almost as if I can't accept anyone without judgment. I lived most of my life believing I was non-judgmental and then one day my eyes opened and I was mortified at what I saw in myself. I was horrible! I judged everyone and everything based on unrealistic expectations I had created in my own mind. I guess on some level it was self preservation but I feel ashamed of how hurtfully I thought of others. I know it came from fear that I wasn't good enough and I am not like that anymore but I haven't forgotten that I once was like that. I hope I never forget it because remembering it is what makes me try so hard to change for the better and stop trying to find fault and instead look for the good and the soul in everyone. These days, if a judgment creeps in, I notice it, change it and look at what that person is mirroring to me about me. I am not perfect, nor do I need to be. I am the same as everyone else in the way that counts most - I want to be happy, hmmmm, is that a judgment too? I think so, I mean, how do I know EVERYone wants to be happy? I don't know it.
Each night, I say 'The Lords Prayer' and it helps me sleep. Months ago, as I prayed, I really noticed the words I was uttering..."forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". I used to think this was "forgive us OUR trespasses as we FORGIVE those who trespass against us". Now, I think it is "forgive us our trespasses AS WE FORGIVE those who trespass against us". Same thing right? No. Before, I accepted the line was all about me and about me being forgiven. Now I believe it is me asking to receive the same forgiveness that I extend to others, therefore if I cannot forgive, may I be also unforgiven; if I judge others, I ask that I be judged with the same rule. It is me inviting God, karma, the universe to walk in the shoes of another to understand them and to know what it is like to be judged by my own shallow, fear based tenets. This belief has made me more aware and more focused to stop blaming, picking, whinging, being intolerant and being isolated. I want to love! Unconditionally and without reserve - love. Because I want it, I can achieve it.
Onwards and upwards
xxjxx
